tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26872802.post1020566940300155382..comments2023-10-29T12:45:44.050-04:00Comments on Allegory of an Underage Femme Fatale: Love & Sex = Chemical?la petite dévergondéehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01207915956580451394noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26872802.post-16127919015790933332008-08-04T17:57:00.000-04:002008-08-04T17:57:00.000-04:00I try and feel totally unattached and enjoy the mo...I try and feel totally unattached and enjoy the moment(when that is what I am in the mood for). It is mostly circumstantial though. If the option is of a relationship is totally out of the question, then yes.<BR/><BR/>other times it just depends and then other times i wish i just never went down that road.<BR/><BR/>yanno?Henrietta Hussyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04091245845034581474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26872802.post-74812179271838618662008-07-29T00:21:00.000-04:002008-07-29T00:21:00.000-04:00I totally understand the using someone for sex. I ...I totally understand the using someone for sex. I had a lover whom was absolutely AMAZING in bed... but really if he spoke after we were done, I wanted to leave. Apparently it turned him on even more that basically all I wanted afterwards was a sonic drink. I do sometimes feel like I'm using them, but at the same time, it's mutal, it's consentual, it's acceptable. <BR/>On the depressing flipside, I've had a love who was quite a terrible lover, no matter how hard (I) tried in bed to train him, he just didn't have the confidence, and it was a major strain on our relationship. <BR/>As for seperating sex and love, it's quite easy. I reallly desire to sleep with my roomate (but haven't, because he's in a monogamous relationship with his girlfriend), and I have a great deal of close friends I'm sexually comfortable with, but don't love. <BR/>Love and sex when it's good, it's amazing.. My ex-fiance and I had the BEST SEX OF MY LIFE. It was just purely amazing. And thinking about it still gets me wet and into that semi orgasm-recall state.Athenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02825589518068159868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26872802.post-13661466171576912382008-07-25T13:28:00.000-04:002008-07-25T13:28:00.000-04:00I wouldn't say so much as angry, but definitel...I wouldn't say so much as angry, but definitely rough and just full of heat but not love. More like fucking someones who you think is hot as hell but you really are bothered by them in daily life.<BR/><BR/>Like you're using them sort of?<BR/><BR/>God...that sounds bad.<BR/><BR/>But yes, hate sex. :)<BR/><BR/>♥la petitela petite dévergondéehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01207915956580451394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26872802.post-56831041470588899512008-07-25T12:49:00.000-04:002008-07-25T12:49:00.000-04:00Angry rough violent sex? Haha hate sex, probably t...Angry rough violent sex? Haha hate sex, probably the polar opposite to 'love' sex - possibly just as violently passionate?Jakehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12169469327479936450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26872802.post-52065343863038040582008-07-24T21:09:00.000-04:002008-07-24T21:09:00.000-04:00J:Haha, yeah you're probably right on the agre...J:<BR/><BR/>Haha, yeah you're probably right on the agreeing viewpoints. :)<BR/><BR/>I agree with you on the mindsets of the couple. Though, there is an issue with that. In the last weeks of my relationship with Gadget we had amazing sex but that's because for me it was hate sex....<BR/><BR/>kind of rude, but true. lol<BR/><BR/>Like read the "Hot Hotel" post and you'll see what I mean.<BR/><BR/>♥la petitela petite dévergondéehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01207915956580451394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26872802.post-50712885460301414162008-07-24T19:04:00.000-04:002008-07-24T19:04:00.000-04:00@ellie, definitely!'The reality is that these thin...@ellie, definitely!<BR/><BR/>'The reality is that these things are chemical. We like to think of love operating on some ethereal plane. I think it is because we live in a judeo-christian society that talks about love coming from incorporeal places (like God). That makes us hesitant to fully accept the biology.'<BR/><BR/>That's so true. We like to think we're on a different plane, and I suppose things like reason and perhaps more complex emotions do raise us above the rest of life on Earth, but really we're driven by instincts and urges and chemical reactions at a minute level. Attributing things to a greater being is all very nice and helps to explain things that people don't understand, but it's not very <I>scientific</I>.<BR/><BR/>@la petite, that NY article does sound intriguing! I don't know if we'd be debating though, we seem to have very similar interests and views? I do agree that there is a difference between casual and couple sex, but whether one is better than the other is obviously totally dependent on the people involved and their mindsets at the time.Jakehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12169469327479936450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26872802.post-103517193491154562008-07-24T18:18:00.000-04:002008-07-24T18:18:00.000-04:00Clem:Im absolutely not putting down love as a fact...Clem:<BR/><BR/>Im absolutely not putting down love as a factor in good sex. I even made a nod to it in the post that it had brought me to higher heights sexually.<BR/><BR/>I feel though that many neglect to understand the VITAL difference between sex and love and that they can be very separate. For women especially it can complicate and hurt us when we make that confusion so all I'm trying to express is that its a key bit of knowledge to accept in order to keep from being hurt and also to being able to enjoy your sexual sides.<BR/><BR/>Sex is a biological response and action whereas love is an ingrained primitive, emotional response. <BR/><BR/>I do agree with you that love can be a great catalyst to fabulous sex. :)<BR/><BR/>♥la petitela petite dévergondéehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01207915956580451394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26872802.post-74387379287453280962008-07-24T18:14:00.000-04:002008-07-24T18:14:00.000-04:00J:Yeah I love that book, its such a great read and...J:<BR/><BR/>Yeah I love that book, its such a great read and it gives you soooo much to ponder on. I'm a big litera-phile.<BR/><BR/>Also on the oxytocin part, Ive read a bit in The New Yorker about how children who were breast fed into later ages (like say, 5 and 6) had higher levels of hyper sexuality later in life. I think its just the most amazing thing to think about.<BR/><BR/>This post is actually quite a bit shorter than I think it really should be as Im very expressive and interested when it comes to this bit of biology.<BR/><BR/>Im always loving your input, I could see us debating until the sun goes down. :)<BR/><BR/>♥la petitela petite dévergondéehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01207915956580451394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26872802.post-88408734479990899942008-07-24T18:11:00.000-04:002008-07-24T18:11:00.000-04:00ellie: i completely agree with you there. If were ...ellie: i completely agree with you there. If were bound by our blind faith to God, how can we love our bodies as biological machines?<BR/><BR/>That could spark a great big conversation. :)<BR/><BR/>♥la petitela petite dévergondéehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01207915956580451394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26872802.post-70198441134956330172008-07-24T14:27:00.000-04:002008-07-24T14:27:00.000-04:00you can certainly enjoy sex without a whole-hearte...you can certainly enjoy sex without a whole-hearted emotional involvement, but I don't think you can deny there are emotions involved during sex.<BR/>T%he lust, the eroticism that drives new lovers, is a set of emotions that can be fleeting in a long-term relationship where other emotions like love are present. If you are 'fuck buddies' or just involved with 'NSA' sex, yea, it's immensely enjoyable, still, with it's own set of emotions attached.<BR/>The sounds, the smells, the looks on your lovers face all trigger emotions and responses. Just go with it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26872802.post-32279648660455725042008-07-24T13:24:00.000-04:002008-07-24T13:24:00.000-04:00Interesting post, I'm a bit of a bio and evolution...Interesting post, I'm a bit of a bio and evolutionary psychology nerd so this is in an area that I'd love to know much more about. Desmond Morris has written a book called The Naked Ape which explains how the vast majority of human behaviour can be boiled down to basic animalistic instincts. Saying that now sounds very self explanatory but it's actually a very good read with a decently sized section on sex. <BR/><BR/>The interaction between sex and love, or pair-bonding if we talk in animal, more basic terms, is far too complicated for me. There's been quite a lot written about oxytocin which is a hormone released during sex, as well as in breast milk - it helps pair-bonds to form and might be a reason why lots of people find they become more attached than they would like to be after a period of long term casual sex. There will be many many more factors involved though. As I said, it's something I'm going to try and read more about.<BR/><BR/>On a more simple note, I'm all about making the most of any pleasures the body can offer, so the more chemical lust then the better.Jakehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12169469327479936450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26872802.post-44370833152652065962008-07-24T09:44:00.000-04:002008-07-24T09:44:00.000-04:00I was actually having a conversation about this wi...I was actually having a conversation about this with a casual lover a few nights ago. The reality is that these things are chemical. We like to think of love operating on some ethereal plane. I think it is because we live in a judeo-christian society that talks about love coming from incorporeal places (like God). That makes us hesitant to fully accept the biology.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com