Good-Bye, Gadget (?)

Just shy of two years, it looks like its the end of my relationship with Gadget.

It's all come down to this because of myriad of reasons and honestly, it shouldn't have drug on this long with so many problems going unresolved.

Gadget and I in bed in the good times.
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I think it all came down to being annoyed, agitated, and belittled far too much and on a far too recurrent basis. Gadget is one of those people who have come from nearly abject poverty and have built themselves up from it into a productive member of society.

He follows the status quo far too closely and pushes and heaves at everyone to do to the same...even if they have not asked for such assistance. In a word, he believes that no one is ever good enough and should always be pushing at their individual glass-ceilings. That works for some people but thats just not me.

Gadget is going to be 27 this summer and maybe he feels as if he has not got much time left to prove himself a man in the world. As for myself, Im a 20 year old college student/writer/waitress who is just in the beginning of her wave of adulthood and just wants to have fun, have a few lazy days between her break-neck work days and try to find who she is.

He likes to push me and make me out to have more problems than I do; maybe it makes him feel better about himself if he has someone he can look down upon.

My best friend (a gay male) (I only drop the fact that he's gay to let you all know he's not after me and therefore not giving me bum advice to get me single again) has told me that perhaps Gadget feels inferior to me and therefore has to build himself up and belittle me, all at the same time to make himself feel worthy, and especially not below me, in status and mind power. I feel theres a grain of truth in this.

I have grown to hate the way he acts, the way he deals with problems and how he never feels enough is enough. I feel like he doesn't make enough time for me and when I encounter problems his only advice is to "just let it go". I wish it wasn't so though, because even for all his misgivings, he's a good man who I know only has everyone's best interests at heart but who needs to be much more empathetic, less judgmental and above all, more understanding of the flawed nature of man.


Update: 3 days later and I'm still waiting for the pain and the tears...where are they? Will they ever come? I suppose its just as well to leave something without childish emotion following me. Would it be better though?

Update: A week later: Is this the right thing? Is loneliness worth it? Should the negatives override all of the positives? I'm just so torn.

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