I Love Her

After many years of fearing the fact that I had desires toward women that were way deeper than just wanting to get them naked and have my way with them, I finally let all that go and opened up a new chapter in my life.

Our lesbian toothbrushes kissing. Sickeningly adorable, I know.

Of course I had loved sex with men; my life has been punctuated and written all of sex with men, being possessed, ravaged, fucked upside down, and even raped but any emotional connection was so forced, so tedious, and so much work. I did love Gadget, I did love Trigger, I did love Horns but something was never quite realized in that love.

I have dreamed night and day of women's bodies, their faces, their mouths, their voices in my ears and even more lusty fantasies since the age of 8 and always dismissed it as just a sexual curiosity and spark. It just wasn't so and I had lied to myself for so long.

The time is over for lying to myself, for fear and loathing, and for denial and grief.

After so many years of confusion and forcing myself to be straight, (or straight-ish at least) I met her, Kangaroo. Her green eyes, her blonde spiky hair, her weird little gorgeous lips, and the hands that are even smaller than mine (a first in my life!).

I love her.

Sweet Cupcakes

So you know how I'm totally obsessed with cupcakes? How about 9 girls in sexy lingerie kneeling and smooshing, rubbing, and throwing cupcakes on and at each other? Does it make it it even better to know that they also rip each other's bras and panties off and then slip around in the icing and cake all over themselves, falling into a huge heap?

I'm not even kidding and it makes me so giddy it almost hurts....this is my REAL life! Yay! <3

Did I also mention that this is for a juvenile AIDS charity? Yes, naked, icing covered girls playing outside for charity. Anything is possible in life when you have an imagination like mine.

La petite and some double (and triple!) doses of sugary love!

Boy Beater

My life in the BDSM lifestyle has really come full circle in the past seven years. I started out as a timid model and submissive and have now found my stronger persona within the darker circles of sexuality.

I identify as a Dominant who will occasionally bottom privately, I no longer serve anyone but there is still a lingering soft spot for the sensations and mindsets of one being beneath another. I don't live for that sense of loss of self but it is still there behind most everything else and occasionally peeps its little head out.

Vintage image via queerpopculture.com 

I think this realization came so late because I just let myself fall into a role someone decided for me; the role of being the one who serves. As a woman, it is the more prescribed of any of the roles in life and it did feel natural for a very long while. There came a day when I felt less like only pleasing someone else and more like I had accumulated enough knowledge and strength to possess someone myself and have them feel all that I had before.

I had never gotten as worked up over Fem Dom porn as I did this past Fall and circulating more and more among those who not only encouraged my learning and self discovery but also saw something more in me than a girl who just lets things be done to her.

In life I am a leader, I get things done and I make my voice heard. I take initiative and am never too shy to talk to anyone. I feel that my sexual prowess and energy make others feel that I am an intimidating young woman and on some level I've always felt it deep down. Nearly my entire sexual journey has been about manipulating men (not all manipulation is bad!) and seeing how far I could push myself and others.

I thought that these characteristics just made for an interesting side-note on resume of a submissive women when they were more like the telling points of my actual place in life and in the BDSM world at large.

I'm a caring, genuine person and when you are my friend I will do anything to help you out so when people find out certain things about me, such as the fact that I like to embed needles into people's skin and then lace them together like a corset it boggles most people's minds. The embodiment of the female energy is that of duality and I definitely have it in spades. I'm light and dark, sweet and spicy, and sweet and evil, all at the same time.

Isn't life wonderful?

That being said, my new boy Scene is such an amazing gift in my life. I love him and worship him while all at once I feel a very powerful drive to Dominate him, hurt him, and bring his mind to amazing new places.

We had a scene this week where he was in sub-space long before I ever started applying any pain of any kind. He amazes me and while he's still very green to the lifestyle of kink, his desire to be mine completely drives me wild and endears him to me like no one before him.

When I began to find my place in the lifestyle at 15, I had this very well defined distaste for submissive men, thinking that since they couldn't fulfill what I believed to be their "proper" gender roles that they were less than worthy of respect. I have found in the past few years that this is absolutely not true. In many ways a submissive man has a lot more pain and trials to work through before he can finally find himself in the lifestyle. To go against all of the constraints of your upbringing, sex, and societal pressure is a truly incredible feat of daring and determination to be sure.

The man who finds himself softened and willed to bend to the desires of his woman is truly an amazing man indeed. The pleasure and satisfaction that can be found is such submission is the most tantalizing of all and I feel blessed to have his heart and mind in the palm of my hand.

Getting Off...On The Road

My new boy Scene and I are in kink-love and in him I have found a strange and new passion that has totally shown me a new side of myself and my sexuality. He is incredible.

We were on our way home from a road trip with some friends and had the back seat all to ourselves. I had laid back on his lap with his arm draped over my stomach, my legs up on the car door. It wasn't soon before his hand snaked under my skirt and panties and his deft musical fingers began to rub my wet little kitten.

The conversation was rolling in the car as I "slept" and his fingers played with my clit not even a foot behind our friends. I closed my eyes and let the sensation wash over me as I picked up my cell and snapped a few photos.

It was all very sweet though and a tantalizing torture that would only be satiated once Scene and I were barricaded behind closed doors later that day and in spectacular style.

The rain pounded down on us as his fingers walked around inside of my panties, the clouds rolling overhead and as the car progressed we both dozed; his hands in my panties and my feet on the window.

Tall Summer Grass

He threw me down in the grass and I pulled him down with me, rolling around until I was sitting on his stomach, my laughter pummeling the nature all around us. We were seventeen and it was like the sunshine was going to last forever.

My hair was golden light as the sun poured through it and it made a curtain around our faces as I lent down to kiss his cheap rum and cherry coke flavored lips. His hands ripped through my thin tee revealing that I wasn't wearing a bra underneath.

What memories can do to one's body....

My shorts were only a hindrance as he bumped his pelvis against mine. I cried out when he bit my bottom lip and pinched my nipple at the same time. Blood flavored our next kiss and I let him roll over on top of me. It was a series of little games, little gestures.

He knelt in front of me, my sunburned legs splayed out on either side of him. The movement and his hands were awkward but he finally got my shorts down and threw them to the side alongside with my panties and I lay there the tall crushed grass in my Chucks, my ripped tee making a sort of makeshift vest with its buttons undone.

He kissed my glinting bellybutton with its evil little jewel of a ring, licking in one move from it to my little fluff of pubic hair.

He kissed the fur there gently and then inhaled my scent before using his tongue to part my secret little lips and delved deeper to lick my wet inner slit. I moaned and stretched my arms out above me, grabbing hold of the grass and pulling until it nearly came out by the roots.

"You taste like the ocean."

His lips were shiny with my glimmery juices and he smiled so big.

I giggled and looked up into the huge blue sky just going on forever above me and I sighed so contentedly that I thought the air never cease from issuing from my mouth. I smiled then and came very slowly but fiercely and unexpectedly, squirting a little and crying out too.

"Does that always happen?"

He asks as he wipes the drips of girl cum off of his nose, his smile amused and hungry.

"No, it doesn't."

My laughter fills the field and he growls slightly as he crawls all over me, his face damp with the clean, briny scent of my juices. I marked him. Mine.

I am shocked when I feel his cock slide deeply inside of me without any warning, I slap him and he smiles as he begins thrusting, his hand cradling the back of my neck. I wrap my arms around his neck and let my body fall into his rhythm, smacking my hips against him as he pushes hard into me. I work hard at fucking him as he's fucking me.

Deeper and deeper until I can feel my legs beginning to quake with the effort of my bumping body. Like its planned he whispers into my ear,

"I need to cum, where do I do it?"

I was clueless, we were being dumb kids and thought the pull out method rocked our socks.

"Umm, just not inside."

As I barely finish my sentence, he pulls out and with a roar he cums all over my tummy and breasts, a tiny droplet landing on my chin as I smile up at him. He leans back on his heels and surveys the damage as he pants out his ecstasy. I giggled as I gently berate him and sit up,

"I am so pissed at you. What do I do now? I'm covered in cum."

He stands up and walks in his sneakers without pants and reclaims his lukewarm bottle of cherry coke and rum from the surrounding grass and in one swift move he poured it down my upright chest and tummy as I screamed at him.

"Fuck you! Now I smell like a drunk cumslut or something."

We dissolved into laughter so loud that the birds flutter from the nearby trees. He used my ripped tee to wipe away the cum/cherry coke/rum from my body, took off his own and threw it to me. As I pull the four-sizes-too-big tee over my head I giggle and begin to walk across the field, his loping steps following me.

"I am so going to get you back for this one."

He laughed and said,

"Yeah right."

A week later he came in my mouth, I pretended to swallow, and when he leaned down to kiss me, I snowballed him with his own cum.

I told him I would get him back for it, too bad he didn't believe me.

The Virgin in the Family/Do Not Enter

On Easter Sunday after the morning service my family and I held hands in a circle, our pastor's hands on mine and my sister's shoulders linking us all as he prayed to commit my youngest sister's purity ring.

Yes, her purity ring.

I was brought to tears thinking of how much this could mean in her life and what her relationships with men will be like. It made me think back (which I never do) and imagine what life would have been like if I had gone the road of faith and pledged my body to God until I was married.

Photo via myfaithspace.ning.com

I didn't lose my virginity until I was almost 17 and it was to my boyfriend in the Marine Corp who was also a virgin and I have no regrets. We loved one another and had waited for longer than a year to have sex all through him finishing high school and then going through basic training.

We met on a beach and ran into the ocean with our clothes on and when we walked back to his truck with our friends, he let me wear his size 14 sandals because I couldn't get my sandy, wet legs back into my knee-high leather boots. He asked me if he could kiss me for the first time and I was sure that he would be big in my life. I was right.

That said, while I have no regrets, as we stood in a circle up near the stage of the auditorium with our hands clasped to pray for God to bless my sister's strength of will I tried to imagine my life if I had always said "No" and stayed chaste until marriage.

It was hard to do.

I won't say that sex has defined my life but it has definitely changed it, and changed me too. Sex complicated things, it simplified things, it killed things and made things happen. I've felt pleasure and pain and sadness and joy but most of all I would define my relationship with sex as an ever-evolving process of finding myself and my body and my strength through my power as a woman.

I'm glad that sex is not a huge mystery, that its not something to fear or hold high on a pedestal. It is important in your life, but not something to become totally fixated on.

That being said, it brings me to the current day and the fact that I'm dating someone new...but we can't have sex.

Source freeclipartnow.com

Almost three weeks ago I had a small internal surgery that became a big problem when during the supposedly simple procedure, my ureter ripped 4 inches south and had to sutured. Three days later, the sutures ripped and I was back in the ER. As much as that was a *totally fun night* for me, it got worse. The doctor who sewed me up brought me out of anesthesia with a question,

"Guess who's not having sex for a month?"

In my drugged addled state I replied,

"You?"

He laughed and said,

"No, you sweetheart."

I closed my eyes and let my head drop back down on the pillow, hardly contemplating the ramifications of this bit of information. For the first few days I was pissed that their mistake was going to hamper my quality of life but then I came to realization that what happens, happens and nothing can stop it. I smiled and prayed for a quick recovery and a reprieve from my usually overly lustful needs.

About two weeks ago at a dinner party I met a guy who was really interesting to talk to and whom about I said silently to myself, "Now this is going to be trouble" when I saw his masculine frame seated across the table from me. We hung out later into the night and ended up talking over the phone once we both went home until the sun came up and agreed to meet up for coffee the the next afternoon. We agreed to be friends but something stirred and we both knew it wasn't going to just stay "platonic".

The night he kissed me, I knew it wasn't going to be a simple situation. There was more to the attraction than we had both imagined but we didn't know what to do with it. My invisible chastity belt has been in the way and its been so interesting to feel my way through my feelings and longings versus just letting our bodies do the thinking. We have an undeniable animal attraction, something vital that could become something bigger if allowed.

For now I'm glad to have the buffer of my locked up panties to allow the tension an need to build up. The insane thing is that though my sex drive is higher than its been in the past few months, I have this need to refrain from touching myself because I only want to orgasm with him (Wow, I just shocked even myself with that sudden realization!).

I'm glad we have the time to let things work themselves out, build and change before we get lost in the lust that has so often consumed me in the past. Don't get me wrong though, I want to dig into him like nobody's business but for now, its huge for me to see past his trousers.

For the moment, only time will tell what this dynamic will or will not do for the forces at work between us. I don't want to sound like a giggling school girl, but I'm excited to see what will happen next.

Gilding My Body With Heat

The heat from between the sheets has compounded as I lay in a heap here under you.

You wrestled the orgasms out of me like fighting titans and now I remain utterly powerless within my frame of flesh. Knocked down eighty-five notches and totally without complaint, mind or reason. I've been fucked to the point of loss of self.

Damn, it feels good to be alive.

The hours before twilight are the best for their dying rays.

This is worth going to hell for, answering to your morals for and making excuses for. Make your arguments to your piety and your morality and your salvation but this is the moments we all look for. A moment when you cease to exist in any of the pain or doubt of your life, your body, or your intelligence. My flesh does not feel compromised by this invasion but it completely reborn from it.

You stroked me. You licked me. You grabbed me. You invaded me. You bit me. You slapped me.

You erased me, even if just for a few post-coital moments.

I can feel every hollow, valley, and joint in my body; they all are asleep and only my brain gently lolls around in my skull. I am tired, sexed out and done for the night.

Your cock was so hard as it drove into me and even if it wasn't like the fairy tale love stories, I relive it to find my body quaking with the passion of it. My hand can feel the texture of your hard cock slipping into my warm, wet slit. My lips are sore for taking you there too, my throat as well and I will smile to myself when I awake in the morning to still feel that ache from taking you so deeply.

This is for now but not for always. I'm ok. I'm glad. I'm happy. I'm elated

He Wants to Cheat With Me...Again.

He's back...and my mind (and body) is all wrapped up with even more dirty thoughts.

Dillion, if you can remember from the the very dirty, "Oh, Dirty Girl", had quit about two months ago which was sort of a sigh of relief as once we had fucked, I found out that he hadn't broken up with his girlfriend before our little tryst as I had been led to believe and that they were still very much together. Though I was cheating on my then boyfriend, Horns, as well I still felt very bad about unintentionally being "that girl" in the cheating situation.

 I had gotten over it and had written it off as yet another somewhat hasty and uninformed mistake.

Well, my relief was cut short a few days ago when upon coming into work ready to arm my bar and ready to once again dispense a load of lovely liquors, Dillion was standing in the kitchen, in uniform, and apparently re-hired and on the clock.

Oh...Shit...No.

Now its not as if I'm not mature enough to be able to be around him in a professional (or as professional as we ever are when working in our restaurant) manner or that I dislike him; we worked together for several months after our playtime and everything was pretty much smooth...its the fact that I look at him and think,

Oh fuck, you have been inside of me and while I'm slightly disturbed to be around you, I wonder if it would only be better if both of us were not drunk, if it wasn't behind a bar at 3 am in a ditch and we were coherent enough to really take care in our mechanations. 

My minds falls off the face of the earth with thoughts of heavy breathing, ripped clothing, teeth against his skin and the glisten of something on my lips.

I literally forget whats going on and I have snap myself back to the present, Two sweet teas and a diet coke to table # 302, don't forget extra lemons.

I try so hard not to imagine him slamming into me, my hands grasping the nearest sturdy object to steady myself and crying out while his hands cut into me, their strong grip working with his rhythm to propel both of our satisfaction factors.

Just stop! Bread to bar top # 110.

It doesn't help the situation that at every chance he gets, he makes comments designed to take me by surprise and crack my cool veneer of indifference.

He leans his faces towards me and over the back of my neck as I lean over a computer inputting an order,

Oh hey, is that you that smells so good? I thought it might be.

When I comment that the restaurant has been a very unpleasant place to work in during the summer and that I'm pretty down about it,


Don't worry. Im here again, I'll make it fun for you.


As the dinner rush presses down on us and I'm whipping out martini's, whiskey sours, and draft suds,

You're really doing a great job Petite, you really are.

As I comment to another on how I can no longer do favors for people when I bar-tend outside of my assigned duties,


But I really like favors.

 ....and all with a husky intonation, a drop of the chin and a tilt up of his eyes.

I'm not the type of girl to let a guy get to me and have me flustered, but its difficult to not be somewhat, and painfully swayed when your internal thoughts are being reinforced by the very focus of them.

I understand that its wrong to feel this way about someone who is in a relationship, a relationship that you've already helped to secretly undermine but it feels like its a totally uncontrollable carnal, physical attachment that I just can't put in a box and lose somewhere dark and undisturbed in the depths of my mind where it won't affect me.

A good way I've been looking at it is that I've already been there done that and should feel like that conquest is out of my system....its not working too well for me though.

Though I've had other men in my bed (though in this case, hes never technically been in my bed) since him and have felt satisfaction with them, his energy still lingers and though it could be the haze of alcohol that made it seem more adventurous and fun, my mind has a hard time not going back to that experience and also to thoughts of other possible future events.

I would hope, though it would desperately hurt my pride, that if I propositioned him with my thoughts and my body he would push me away for the benefit of his long-time girlfriend (who I just learned tonight is possibly his soon-to-be fiance). It would kill, but I would definitely feel a bit of respect for him and breathe a sigh of relief for her.

On the other hand, if he felt the same as I so, we would probably rip each other to shreds in our lust and haste to satiate whatever is fueling this attraction. The bad part of this is that this outcome would make my body and lustful mind very fulfilled, at least for a little while. Oh, the guilt.

So while I have these thoughts rattling around in my little brain, I'll hope that either they fade or he goes away again...however, I don't know which one is worse.

........

...

A Trashy Reminder

You know that condom wrapper (one of about four we used) that you couldn't find that night after we fucked again after we just happened to run into each other at Monday Karaoke night?

I found it the next morning on the floor on the far side of my bed, having been hastily ripped and discarded.

I've left it there and its been three weeks since Karaoke night.

----------------------------------------------------

The far side of the bed and its secrets.

I let it languish there and let it serve as an instant reminder of the heavy breathing, the pounding in my head, the biting kisses, of clinging to one another in the shower, your mouth on my kitten with the warm water sliding down my body and making droplets form on your eyelashes, and the way you kept your eyes on mine as you slid into me.

I feel like if I pick it up and throw it away (like any good girl would), it would kill the memory, cleanse me of it and painfully free me of the physical tie I still have to that night, to those sensations and to you.

I saw you again last night, at Karaoke night and somehow it wasn't the same. It hadn't been months since the last time I saw you like before, I didn't crave your body like before and the heat just wasn't the same when you kissed me and held me from behind while we listened to the band and rubbed the palms of your hands and your long, long arms down my hips and the tops of my thighs.

I still wanted you but this time it wasn't a fever and I knew that you knew it too.

When I stumbled home at 3 am I fell into bed, staring at the ceiling, an inebriated yet somehow jaded smile on my face. I turned to the space on the floor where the condom wrapper fell to and has stayed for weeks and reached out to it. My hand stopped short and I pulled it back, staring at the little, shiny, gold wrapper, feeling your breath on my skin, your rough manly hands on my breasts, my stomach.

I left it there.

I didn't want to let go, not yet at least.

...........

...

Oh Brad.

There's one thing to say and that's, 'Brad, I'm mad for you too. Oh Brad.'

Alright, so I bet you're asking 'What's up with the not-so-subtle references to The Rocky Horror Picture Show?"

It all has to do with one of the first guys in my life that made me change my thoughts on love, relationships and sex. His name was...well...Brad.

 An anime image I've had since High School that I thought looked very much like the man in question, even down to the bone choker.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I met him during my Freshman year in High School in art class, when his heavy book bag crushed my be-sandled toes on the first day of school. He bent down to collect his spilled belongings, spouting countless apologies and when he looked up from behind his long-ish hair and his glittering blue eyes met mine, his jaw dropped.

I milked my "injury" all through the class just to get him to pout his lips with compassion from where he sat across the table from me. I kept looking at his shiny brown hair, in a long layered sort of style that came down to his shoulders and also his hands. They were the hands of an artist, somewhat spidery and with grace and fluidity. I also liked his lips and wondered what they would feel like on mine.

At the time, I was a virgin but I was having the most perverted thoughts in that class, my pencil tapping on my sketch book, my face dreamy with thoughts of a dark room, his body strong and pounding over my own, his teeth lightly nibbling my neck.

I jumped with fright when I felt a hand on my shoulder that brought me back to reality. Brad looked down at me,

"Class is out. What were you so lost in thought about?"

His smile sent me through the roof. I laughed it off and mumbled something about being out of it. As I stood he handed me my discarded pencil,

"Hey, do you have this lunch hour? We should hang out under the big tree, score it before anyone else does."

I nodded and smiled my acquiescence, my eyes sparkling with joy.

After that day under the tree, Brad and I spent as much time with each other as we could, the vibe never really stirring from that of friendship but I was happy, he was so funny and smart. I remember one day we skipped our next classes after lunch and just sat under the tree, him scribbling with a Sharpie on my Chucks while we talked about what bands were coming into town. It was a flawless friendship.

That is, until he kissed me one day before Christmas vacation.

I was coming down the stairs from the art building and he caught my wrist and pulled me into a tight hug, as I giggled with surprise. His unusually tall frame crushed against my own petite one. He pulled back just enough to look down at me, his brows pinched together in thought and confliction. I questioned his grim expression,

"Brad, what's up? Is everything okay?"

He nodded slightly and then tried to smile,

"I just...have to...uh..."

With that, he slid his agile artist's hand behind my head, his fingers in my hair and bent down to kiss me, his lips warm and soft and dream-inducing. I sighed as he kissed me more and more deeply, my hand grasping the sleeve of his coat for dear life.

He then nuzzled his face into my neck and whispered ever so softly in my ear,

"I had to kiss you, I'm sorry but I love you and it felt so right."

A tear slid down my cheek, my heart racing and his eyes were looking right into mine. I couldnt breathe and I knew I loved him too. My voice came out barely audible as we stood there, holding each other,

"Don't apologize. It was the perfect kiss and...I...I love you too."

His smile was brighter than the sun and he laughed out loud in his joy, hugging me even tighter kissing me all over my face. I giggled from the joy of it, the moment where I knew my feelings had been reciprocated this whole time.

-------------------------------------------------------

Perfection doesn't last and soon I found how horrible Brad's life was at home. His mother was very young when she had him and had no idea how to take care of him or his little sister. They fended for themselves and it made them feel lost and alone.

Brad had problems with anxiety, depression with feelings of suicide and had issues dealing with keeping himself happy. He said I was his cure, that I completed him and made him feel like there wasn't any reason to be sad. He said I was better than the pills that they tried to force on him. He must have been right because I never really saw that darker side of him.

That is until his father sued his mother for custody and would have to move up north to go live with him. Brad cried to me at school the day after he found out, his arms wrapped around me, barely able to speak. He was happy to be getting away from his mother but he wondered how he could ever survive without me. He was scared he would revert back to his depression back to his thoughts of death and ending it all.

I cried too and my heart truly broke that day for the first time.

-------------------------------------------------------

After Brad had been gone for a few weeks, he started to tell me over the phone about how he couldn't bear to be without me anymore, he thought he would die. It was one week before summer vacation and he begged me to come out and see him, to stay with him and his father, his sister and just be with him. I spent two weeks during early summer that year and it was bliss.

After that trip I left for London, England to be with my best friend for the rest of the summer. We partied, we went to clubs, we went to museums and Harrod's. I grew up. Even though I talked to Brad every day while I was there, I knew things couldn't be the same if he wasn't with me like he used to be.

I decided when I got home that I couldn't deal with a long distance relationship, even though I loved him and missed him and it broke my heart to hear him over the phone. He understood though when I told him, my words covered in tears. He cried with me and told me something I'll never forget the rest of my life, his exact words were,

"You'll always remember this love and this comfort. I'll always love you and I'll always have this piece of your heart that's mine forever."

--------------------------------------------------------

Over the next several years I still talked to Brad and saw him a few more times between lovers and trysts but we never had sex. To him, I was still the virginal high school girl who wanted to change the world.

A few months before I met Gadget when I was eighteen years old, Brad begged me to come up and stay with him again. I was feeling down and had just gotten out of a horribly abusive relationship that actually led to me pressing charges. I was a broken girl and I missed Brad like he was my second skin.

When I saw him at the train station, my heart lifted and I cried out his name, running to him. We collided in the most amazing embrace of my life, his lips on mine, his hands tangled in my hair and tears from both of us. I still loved him, and he loved me.

Late in that afternoon after I had settled back into the familiar guest room, I walked down the twilight hazy hallway to Brad's room and rapping lightly on the door, I came in. I looked at him from under my eyelashes as he pulled a tee shirt on over his tall, muscular form. I closed the door behind me and sat on the bed as he stood looking at me from across the room. I spoke softly through the silence,

"Your dad just took your sister to her meeting and he's going to stay with her."

He looked at me searchingly, his eyes deep in thought. I beckoned him and knelt up on the bed. He came over and as he pressed his body to mine, he touched his hand to my face and smoothed his soft fingertips over my eyes and down my jaw to my lips. He kissed me and I felt just what I had when I was in High School.

I pulled on his tee shirt when our kissing became more fevered and he tugged my tank top off. We stood apart for just a moment, trying to take this moment in. I smiled and tucked a stray hair behind my ear. His voice was strong,

"You know, there has never been anyone else for me. I haven't ever been with another girl, not even kissed one. I've been waiting because I knew that one day I would be there to save you when some asshole hurt you. I knew that it would be time then. I still love you, you know that."

"I love you too Brad." A tear slid down my cheek and he wiped it away gently with one bent finger.

He kissed my teary eyes, wrapping his arms around me, his arms so strong and sheltering. He was right, he was there for me when I needed him most, always. I sighed and let myself go, I was safe.

We undressed in front of one another, our eyes timid yet full of lust, full of need. I laid down on my side and begged him to come to me with my eyes. He laid down next to me, his arm draping over my waist, holding me.

It was heat and passion when he took me, his virginal spirit feeding the empty place that the demon of a man before him had broken. He held me tight and looked into my eyes, really making love to me. I smiled and kissed him softly, my arms around him. I felt waves of warmth radiating through my body, happiness finally claiming me after so long. I was surprised to hear his voice,

"Touch yourself and come with me, I need that."

So I reached down and touched my swollen clit as he made love to me, our bodies to tightly pressed together I couldn't remember where I was, so lost in sensation was I. When I came I held on to him, as he rocked his orgasm against me in time with my own. It was singing angels and fireworks and all of that, I was lost in it all. I cried a little as my back arched and my breath caught and he kissed my neck and my lips and made me realize everything was going to be alright.

We laid together for hours, sleeping on and off and I felt like if anyone saw us, they would see the glow of our ecstasy on our skin.

We slept deeply that night and made love everyday while I was there, each time more lovely than the last. I rode him as he sat up against the wall and I held his face, his eyes looking straight into my eyes as I came as he touched me. I cried then too.

We kissed goodbye at the train station at the end of the week and it felt like the last scene in Casablanca. I got on the train and rode home in silence, healed but still needing his warmth. I missed him already.

--------------------------------------------------------

I talked to Brad yesterday on the phone, he's doing well and he no longer has those dark thoughts he used to. He's happy at University and working, helping his father raise his little sister. He told me that he still misses me and that there still hasn't been with another girl.

I got emotional when he told me that but I understand him and his motivation. Ours is a complicated love that's simple to the two of us and we both understand it perfectly.

--------------------------------------------------------

We all have something that digs at us
At least we dig each other
So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday

If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone

-Dig, by Incubus

................

... 

Friends With Benefits

I can smell his saliva on my skin. The tender skin around my lips is sore, slightly red from the scrape of his late night stubble as he kissed me. He kissed me with so much passion. Now, we're friends with benefits.

His lips made me nervous with their softness, their loving caress. I smiled as he kissed me, as I kissed him from the sheer novelty of it all. My friend of three years and I, kissing after such a long thoughtful friendship. I was pleasantly shocked.

 

Sometimes nearly falling off of the bed can be fun...

Sands and I met during class at University and were both working at our campus newspaper. I was the industrious editor-to-be and he was the jovial, popular sports writer who could make anybody laugh out loud despite themselves. He has a wide smile and he's always the first to crack a joke and lighten the mood during tense moments.

We had become really good friends and would go out and talk about school and who he was dating, what he was working on aside from school. He would occasionally call me late at night saying he was already driving to my house and to get ready to have a "heart to heart". We were close and I was so glad to have someone like him in my life.

The other interesting dynamic of our friendship was that he was openly flirtatious and was always good at making me blush but while at the same time he maintaining that buddy-type camaraderie with me. It was confusing to say the least and though it was fun, I was still with Gadget so I thought it was mostly harmless and went along with it.

That is until a few months ago.

I was out with Sands seeing a horrible movie and he wouldn't let me pay for myself so during the whole film I was puzzling it out in my mind. We went back to my place to just hang out and that's when it happened; he tried to kiss me.

Gadget and I had been having problems that I had told Sands about but I was too filled with guilt to kiss him so I pulled away and laughed it off. When he went home a while after that I kept going over the moment in my mind and feeling guilty for the fact that I had wished that I had let him kiss me.

A few more months went by and now we've arrived to about two weeks ago. Sands called me up to go get some coffee and talk about the upcoming election. By this time, I had already broken up with Gadget and I was in such a state of joy from my new found freedom that I must have been glowing.

When I saw Sands in the late day's sunshine, my heart leapt and I gave him the biggest hug. Something had changed but I couldn't put my finger on it.

We had coffee and hung out at the shop, debating a bit and going over our lives as of late. After that we drove back to my place so I could show him the work I'd been doing with adult product review.

We sat on my bed, me showing him my various instruments of pleasure and him with an amused, astonished look on his face that said 'I would never have expected this from you.'

He pulls out a bottle of edible vanilla massage oil and asks about it,


"I don't know really what its like, I haven't tried it out yet."

He smiles,

"Well then, let's see what this is all about."

He opened the gold top and drips a few drops onto his finger tip and slides it over his neck. He smiles and offers it up to me to lick it off.

I smiled in a sort of questioning way but lent over and licked the oil off of his neck, lingering to tease him a bit with my tongue and nibbling a little too.

I come up and look into his eyes, his face so close to mine. With just one moment of hesitation between us, he kisses me, my lips easing so gently against his. Its perfect.

I pull back during a wane in the kiss and he beckons me back, smiling. He slides his hand around the back of my neck, his fingers in my hair as his lips ravish mine. I lay my hand on his leg as we kiss, my heart pumping so fast and my kitten getting slicker by the moment.

We kiss for what seems like forever, our motions becoming more and more heated and by the time I'm on my back and he's hovering over me, I'm wild with need and even the pressure of his hips between my legs is driving me to brink of orgasm. He holds my hands down as he looks down at me, my chest heaving as I try to catch my breath.

He rolls me over so that I'm on top, my knees straddling him, my hair hanging down around our faces as we kiss. He winds his hand underneath my long boho skirt and strokes my ass with his hand, his fingers trying to wiggle under my panties. He pushes me over gently so that My knee is on his stomach and he reaches under the crotch of my panties and slides a finger over my wet slit, his pads testing my slickness.

"Oh yeah."

He says as he slides his finger in and out of my cunt, the wetness making a squishing noise rise in the room. I moan out and beg for him to stop but he continues to tease me, alternatively fucking me with his finger and flicking my clit with his finger tip.

He kisses me hard as he slides his hand out from inside my panties and I whine a little in complaint.

I reach down to feel the bulge in his pants and he quickly moves to unzip them and bring his cock out. He wants me to go down on him, I can tell but I decide to remain a little bit aloof. Instead, I run my hair over his cock and drip saliva out of my mouth onto it. I take hold of it and rub it up and down until he closes his eyes, enjoying the pleasure. For some reason I want to tease him and so I pull back, sitting up and blinking at him, wondering what his reaction will be.

He knows he won't get anything else out of me, so he questions me,

"What are you doing next Thursday?"

I answer that I don't know.

"Well then you and I are are here, in your bed, finishing this thing."

Things cooled down a little as he wants to save something for later he says.

Outside, he kisses me on the cheek and as I walk back into my house he yells out,

"Next week, that ass is mine!"

Well, its been a few weeks now, and this ass still isn't his but not due to his disinterest. He calls and texts me daily asking me what my schedule is but I'm ever-elusive as to what my plans are for the day.

I was blown way by my passion for him and what he does to me but frankly, I'm afraid to see my good friend in that light. I hate when good friendships end with bad relationships that just couldn't work out due to whatever can't meld between two people. Sometimes some of us are just meant to be platonic friends.

Then again, our friendship is already tarnished now so why not just go for it?

Who knows what the future holds for us, I guess we'll have to see what happens.

................

...

Fogged Up Windows

I always thought the concept of "parking" was kind of out-moded and typically high school, but that was probably because I had never done it before. Well, now I have and I have to say...parking rocks, hardcore.

Libra and I have a genuine sexual passion for each other that I wouldn't have thought possible when we started seeing one another, its surprisingly lovely and I have say, gorgeously hot. I'm the experienced one in the equation (shocker!) and she's the curious, willing one pulled into my ploys of sexual deviancy.

Girl Love 101

---------------------------

It was late on a Tuesday night and we had an argument about something as we always have arguments, only to make-up minutes later; I put this on her completely. I was tired and angry and horny and annoyed completely. A brilliant idea popped into my head through the haze of my discomfort; Libra and I needed to fuck right now or it would be very bad news and it had to be in the car.

Such an interesting imagination I have.

I peeled out of her driveway and asked her where the nearest park was. She directed me, kind of curiously questioning me while I gave away nothing. I finally stopped next to the river behind a sparse covering of trees, facing the road yet about four-hundred feet away from it. I got out of the driver's seat and opened the back door and plopped myself back there, looking at Libra through the window, she soon caught on and followed directly.

Immediately her lips were on mine, her hands around my hips pulling me into her. We kissed in that pained, rushed way you kiss when you just are so wrapped in the other person with a sick lust that can't be controlled. You can barely even make contact with whats actually going on but you know that if you stop you'll die, so you keep on. It was that kind of kissing, "whore kissing" I call it.

Under my skirt I wore no panties and when she discovered this via her wildly roaming hands she looked into my eyes, her attention completely focused on me and wanting me. It made me want to climb the wall. When she smoothed her small fingers gently over the slickness of me, I could tell she savored each motion, the sensation of it.

I whimpered when her fingertips found my clit, in her expression there was fire and though I was lost in my own pleasure, I felt her pulsing energy colliding with my own. In my mind I saw the colors pink, red, orange all flashing through my brain in relation to the rubbing on my clit.

Being the type of girl that I am, my mind clicked into overdrive when I realized I had my brand new Bandito dildo in my purse. Go figure, right?

I slowed Libra and looked at her,

"Do you want to fuck me with a dildo, like we talked about? I have one with me."

Her smile was a little bit tainted with nervousness but she agreed she was interested. I climbed a bit into the front set to find my purse and once I had my prize I fell back into the back seat, holding out the length of the black toy to her. I smiled,

"So just like zip it up in the fly of your jeans. It'll be like a harness."

The flared base of the dildo made it perfect to use in this way. New tip from me to you: if you have a Bandito and want a chick to fuck you even though you don't have a harness, have her put on the tightest pair of jeans she has and zip the toy into the fly. It works like a charm.

--------------------------------------------

The amber glow from the distant street lights beats upon her face, the warmth illuminating her eyes as she slid into me. The moment left me breathless and delightfully confused. Libra worked the toy into and out of me with an instinctual skill, her hips slapping against the underside of my thighs as she pumped and thrusted.

The back of my head bumping the car window, the sweat dripping from her face onto mine, the tense grasp of my hand on the edge of the upholstered seat; all of these things culminated into a sick, heated passion that flowed through the both of us and she fucked me.

When she grabbed my tit and bit at the nipple with her teeth, it was with as much savage passion as any man has ever had for me and my body as he claimed me. Her expression was the same too.

It seems the act of taking a woman and her virtue affects all people, and reaction isn’t determinate on gender.

When I had finally had had too much to bear and realized that I had to come, one slight touch of my fingertip on my clit almost made me come. Her arching thrusts moved in time with my own twitching fingers and in what seemed like a split second, my body was rapt with the swooning rapture of an intense and mind exploding orgasm.

She cradled me against her body when I lent up to hug her, her hands possessive and strong on me like any man whose ever held me after sex. She was more though somehow, not more fulfilling, but more comforting and it felt more true than other random sex.

I don’t make these comparisons out of spite or to show men as loveless, soulless beings but instead to show how interesting it was that there were so many similarities between Libra and a man as she fucked me. It felt like Human Behavior Class all over again, but this time I got fucked and I came. Super!

Libra looked down, the toy cock still zipped up in her fly and she handled it quite admiringly and with much joy. She smiled and looked at me,

“How do you like my cock?”

I laughed and grabbed the toy, pulling it to bring her closer to me,

“I like it just fine, I think you know that too.”

"Hey Petite, let's name him Albert...the cock that God didn't give me."

We laughed as we sat in the back of the car watching the little droplets of condensation drip down all the windows surrounding us, our minds completely overwhelmed with sensation and recollection. We could have made a veritable rain storm with all of that condensation had I not needed to come.

On the drive back to her house as I was coping with my woozy head, we were both cat grins and all giggles feeling the post-sex high together. It was bliss.

Once we had reached her house I questioned her,

“Libra, would you fuck me against that vacant house next to yours in the field? Would you screw me like that outside and in the dark and everything?”

Her response was immediate,

“Oh fuck yeah. You wanna? Come on! We have to now ‘cause you brought it up.”

So with that, Libra dragged me out of the car and across the field to the vacant house, placed me legs spread and skirt over my ass and fucked me with the dildo zipped up in her jeans, my face a mixed mask of pleasure and amusement.

I giggled as a lone cat watched approvingly from the high grass not far from us. She must understand you know, being a cat and all. She must understand what its like to be horny, with your ass up in the air wanting to be fucked out in nature.

So we fucked in the high grass, two girls with a dildo.

What a pair.

................

...

Kissing Her Lips

I ease my body down to lie down beside her and gently smooth my hand over the gliding mountainous curve of her hip. Her sleepy breath is gentle and somber, her eyes I know are closed even though all the light I see is amber from the candle across the room.

A pink heart paddle meets my mouth: heaven.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

She is near sleep but still aware of my presence. I want so much to kiss her.



The ripple in my stomach lets me know that the moment is heat and light, even in this darkness, even with her back to me. I let my hand rest in the valley of her waist, my fingers gently gripping her curve there. I lie my head down behind hers and rub my face in the swarthy cascade of her hair. She smells of lilac and baby powder, of fruit punch and of her own special scent; I breathe her in like a medicinal mist.



She speaks softly to me, her hand moving to lie atop mine,



"I know you're here with me. I can feel you really powerfully."



I giggle gently, biting my lip to stifle the sound of it in this silent haven. I don't speak and instead I kiss her jawbone. My lips feel her heat in that instant and I'm transfixed. I'm in my natural element and I know everything is right with the world that I touch her flesh with my lips.



She sighs audibly and grips my hand in hers; she shifts her body ore toward me and I slide my hand over her stomach with her movement. My breath catches and her eyes are like and owl's, so big and focused through the haze of the dark. She licks her lips before she speaks again,



"I know what you're thinking, I'm not scared. You're the one with the seeming dilemma."



I'm at battle with myself knowing that I'm afraid and I'm pierced through the heart that she knows this. I'm all comfort and love and butterflies with her and yet my conflict resounds. I've only loved a woman in sex, only loved her as an object of momentary desire.



This time I'm afraid to kiss her out of love. Real love.



Really loving a woman. Me, really loving a woman.



I repeat these self-made mantras to myself in earnest. What am I trying to do? Scare myself away from her? Make myself not desire her smell, her voice, her laughter?



I can't force myself straight.



Maybe its time to objectify men as my sex objects and actually let myself love a woman like I've been dreaming of for eight years. I'm afraid but her lips could be mine and it makes me sober up to my reality, to my opportunity.



I breathe out and bring my hand up to her face, gently stroking her lips with my fingertips. I follow the curve of them, enchanting myself. I lean over her face and my hair falls down around my shoulders, tickling her own as a mirror image to mine.



I look into her eyes and they smile, they invite and I'm petrified. Yet I keep going, I have a target to lock onto and I continue on.



Her lips are fire and softness, they envelope mine and I swear I can feel every soft line in them fit like a puzzle to mine. I bravely massage her bottom lip with my tongue and her response is like a wild fire. Her small arms wrap around my shoulders and she kisses me with a fierceness I thought unattainable in a girl. She has the passion that I have.



Kissing her lips is a fantasy of Arthurian proportions with light and wind and soft tinkling chimes. I'm taken and I'm swept and all that other rubbish all in one moment of bliss. I connect and she connects and I'm not afraid.



Everything is alright as I kiss this girl: in love.



Two girls kissing in bed, like two twins, their arms around one another and in complete rapture.



I'm not afraid.

...............

...

Three notes of news for you: Monday is my first edition of "The Monday Buzz", my all original product review segment, it should be pretty juicy. I can't wait!

Also: 

How do you like the new design? I edited it myself with a blogger template (heavily modified it) and also used a great graphic by DaPino, my new favorite designer! I'm all modern now. Woo! 

Also: 

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY! 

YAY! WERE STILL FREE.....kind of. 

YAY ANYWAY! 

.................

...

Night Ride: Trigger's Bike

After figuring that single life is not as bad as everyone says (I am young after all, so life is not quite so disparaging alone) and decided to take the call of an old love of mine: Trigger.

Its the middle of the night, but I'm thinking there's an adventure here that's up for having.

Trying on Trigger's stylish glasses, while sitting on him no less( and yes, its blurry...on purpose).

--------------------------------------------------------------------

A little more than two years ago I took his virginity and even wrote a memoir on it, entitled "Garçon Virgin". We had a bit of drop out when I broke it off with him rather early and then nearly immediately picked up with Gadget, his heart was bruised as he thought I had been unfaithful. We began speaking a little over a year ago and have remained steadfast friends.

I always imagine (erroneously) that men don't feel as much as women do emotionally and therefore I act sort of callous sometimes, thinking that they're not affected, that they'll get it and move it. It isn't always so and our history is rife with this mistake of mine. There was a misunderstanding that has since been healed and I now consider him to be among my best friends.

We're much the same with some crucial differences and he surprises me at times. I'm the wild one, while he's more reserved but with an insane sense of humor. He doesn't always seem like the one to make spur of the moment decisions. So when I heard he had purchased a motorcycle I knew I had to be the first on its saddle behind him, rushing through the night, neon crashing past. When he dials me up I get on the line and say,

"I know its late but drive up on your bike and I'll take a ride with you, you have to inaugurate it. How hot would it be to have a chick sit on the back with a skirt on?"

After he agrees I can just imagine him jumping on the bike and zipping up to my house, his helmet black and shiny against the metro backdrop of cement and the occasional palm tree.

He stands in my drive way, his helmet on his head, and in his hands he holds another out for me. I'm afraid of the unfamiliar; I'm used to Harleys but a Japanese crotch rocket? I'm intimidated.

I pop on after his assurances:

"Yes, you still look like a girl with the helmet on.",

and

"Yes, it's safe. Well, safe enough.",

and

"No, your boobs won't get cold, my body will block it cuz you're holding on to me."

A girl does have her concerns that need to be calmed before jumping onto a yellow death cruiser weighing half a ton in the middle of the night. I'm adventurous as hell, but theres always a few moments of trepidation to deal with before something new.

Trigger on his yellow crotch rocket: Night Ride.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The bike grumbles its way furiously on and my hands tense, gripping the front of his jacket to keep from flying off into the abyss. The night is deserted and private, the city streets seemingly abandoned. We fly on for an hour before stopping to rest and have a bit of time to chat. So we pick the beach and sit on some rocks at the shoreline.

The night is magic, theres a storm out over the ocean giving us a gorgeous display of light in a big cloud hovering over the water miles away. A meteorite crosses the sky in a sparkling arch even and before I realize the time is creeping toward the morning hours, he kisses me and we make an agreement to see where things may go.

The ride back is romance, his arms pressed down hard on my arms as I hold onto him, and he even takes my hand in his as he slips the bike down the road, his huge black gloved hand completely dominating mine, gripping it tight.

He's changed and those changes turn me on; I haven't changed and he loves that.

-------------------------------------------

The next morning I awake terrified at what has transpired, Why on Earth would I get back into a relationship when I just got out of one? I mean its only been like three days since I broke it off with Gadget, am I out of my mind? I'm not a happy monogamous person, I need the freedom and spontaneity of being my own object.

I go through my day worried that I've made an awful mistake, my body thinking of the shivers he gave me when he kissed me right before he left me, the sun coming up in my window.

I have a sick feeling in my stomach when I realize that I want to call him, want to talk to him, want to see him, and most of all I want him to kiss me again with those big, soft lips of his. Maybe it could be a real little crush? Maybe it just wasn't the romance of a motorcycle ride to the beach and the glory of that clear night.

Thats what scares me the most.

When I see him again I just feel comfort and I want him to take the initiative in kissing me, taking my hand but he doesn't, he's out of touch with the fact that I need his dominance. If not whips and chains and a collar then just him taking the reigns for the evening out.

The dinner is great, the movie sucks but the making out later on my bed is great. His mouth is soft though he's kissing with a little too much strength, but its lovely. I don't disapprove when he slips his hand under my skirt, and I still don't when his hand strays to my panties, his fingertips lingering over the warmest spot.

He amuses himself by skimming his fingertips just over my slit while kissing me slowly on the jaw, his lips soft and warm. He must have decided it had been a long while since he had slipped his mouth around my kitten so he lowered himself over me and after kissing me on the lips quickly, he slid all the way down my body, gently lifting my thighs and letting them slip around his shoulders, my feet pressed to his back. My feelings of anticipation were killing me, my pulse beat a loudly as the rain outside and my throat was tight with longing.

The first sloppy, wet slither of his tongue brought back all the memories of his cunnilingus skills straight into my cortex, my hands grasping the covers tightly. I'm awaiting quick bliss.

The one thing I have to say about Trigger is that he has hands down the best oral skills of anyone I've ever been with in bed. He can make me come in seconds if he so desires, his big lips sealed around my kitten while his quaking tongue makes a habit of sliding up and down all fat and sassy on the most inner folds of me. Even from the first moments of his labors, my body is rap with sensation all down my legs to my toes, my breath hard to control.

So Trigger really can do some good work inside my panties, thats for sure.

I take a deep breath to calm myself and zone into his attentions, feeling him working me to a very fast, energetic orgasm with seemingly no effort but with total rapt passion. It hits me soft and smooth and powerful, his mouth gentle against me and my body bucking like spastic prayer. I shout out his name in earnest whether out of adoration or as a surrender to his devices.

My eyes fail to open by my own will and I have to instead wait until they'll open of their own volition. His kisses to my inner thighs sweeten my after-glow, the soft wet sound of them reaching my ears like a gift.

I sigh and he hears it and knows my appreciation: he's good like that.

I'm all giddy with the joy of it and the joy of revisiting this great moment with him and wondering what the hell I'm getting myself into when he pulls on my hand, looks up at me and says,

"Ready for a second one?"

His lips take no time in finding me again and I giggle quietly to myself and resign myself to just living for the moment and seeing where this journey takes me.

...........
...

Hot Hotel Bang: Key West

I can only think of one thing more cliche in the world of sensuality than champagne on ice next to the bed, and that is champagne on ice next to a hotel bed.

Let's just call this, "Admittance".
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

So, with that being said, this past weekend was our pre-summer mini break to Key West, FL.

For those who haven't been, Key West is like a super tropical version of New Orleans and is renowned for being pirate central back in it's hey day. Now its kind of turned into a mecca for vacationing college students who want to get drunk on high priced watered down cocktails.

Its kind of sad to think of it that way seeing how much I love it but thats the basic outside perception. Once you're there however, its aura just takes you in, Victorian houses for the mid 1800's surrounding you and all of the history of it just envelops you.

Gadget and I drove all day until we were cross-eyed from driving for over three hours in a two lane road stuck between various keys and the ocean. Hey but here's the bright side, as the sign at its beginning told us, theres only been 14 fatalities this year, so its looking up! ((rolls eyes))

The moisture and heat of the air there once I got out of the car just hugged me all over like an old friend. I peered out at the ocean just across the road and I felt at peace. We checked in and marveled at our suite looking out over the big blue and sat to ponder our luck.

Gadget decided to lie down and soon he was asleep so I called my friend Babs who I've met on previous pilgrimages down to the Island and she told me to get my butt down to the old part of town for a round of drinks.

Five rounds later I was stumbling up the stairs to the room, giggling secretly to myself. How much better can you get in life than having your favorite cocktail and swimming in a pool that once you look in the direction of the horizon looks like its blending into the ocean only ten feet away? Nothing pretty much, and I'm not even a huge lover of tropical vacations having lived all my life in touristy towns.

I realized Gadget wasn't in the room but shrugged my shoulders, as he knew where I had been and knew I was coming back. I pushed my way into the room and immediately hopped into the shower to save my highlights from the chlorinated pool water. The shower was like a princesses' dream, all done in dark marble and the whole front made of glass with a warm recessed light crowning it. A few moments later I heard a click and knew he was back from whatever quest he had been on. I smiled as he crossed the bathroom, mouth open looking at me,

"Hey baby. What ya doin in there?"

I smiled as I realized that ot even by his own volition, his sub conscious mind had sent him to the task of undressing. Thats the problem with men, you give them a taste and they want the whole meal.

"I'm just waiting for you." I said slowly while soaping up with a fluffy washcloth.

His kiss was hot and needy when his lips met mine, his hands soft yet barely controlled as he slid them around my soapy waist, cradling me.

He ducked himself under the shower's cascade while I soaped his chest, my mind fuzzy in my tipsy state. I grabbed my bottle of baby oil on a whim and squirted his more manly appendage before letting my hand wander there as well. This pushed him into a very, how shall I say this? Uncontrollable state.

With his body he pushed me into the corner of the shower, my back meeting the chilled marble as his mouth was a fire on mine. I moaned into our kiss as his hand went south and shocked me with its insistence. My voice was breathy as I spoke,

"Let me turn around for you babe."

And placing my hands in front of me while bending over, he got the message and filled me completely. The heat of the water pouring down his chest and over my ass combined with the heat of him moving so earnestly drove me nearly to tears, all the while his voice soft and insistent behind me,

"Oh my god baby, you're so gorgeous, oh my god."

A girl always loves platitudes when shes getting fucked in the shower.

My wet hair hung around my face as I stared at my hands with fingers splayed against the marble in front of me, seemingly holding onto dear life as with each thrust my feet slid to and fro. I smiled to myself and hoped to god I didn't fall and get my head cracked open, what an embarrassing crime-scene: ass up in a hotel shower covered in baby oil. I have to laugh at that.

I eased my way up and disengaging from Gadget, I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck, letting him kiss me movie-style. I began drying myself, much to his chagrin, but once I gave him that look, he didn't waste time in following me to the bedroom where I was already bent over and ready for him.

I let my mind slide all over as he worked against me, my moans coming ragged and heated. What would make this moment even better? I looked back over my shoulder at him and said in a small, provocative voice,

Hey babe, you want to do bum?" It's our code word for "anal" because I just can never bring myself to say that word out loud. He moaned his assent and went go burrow around for lube in his bag while I waited, ass up in the air, my chin resting on my arms.

I can't really explain the exact pleasure I receive from this sort of sex, but its just like nothing else. I know I'm probably abandoning my fellow females in saying that its the most pleasurable penetration to me and it can always drive me over the edge. Call my dirty, call me perverted but never call me unexplored nor unsatisfied.

As I came that night, while he was making love to me in that most taboo way and put stars in my eyes, I realized something; bliss is bliss no matter how its achieved.

------------------------------------------------------

When I woke up in the morning with the ocean to greet me from the windows and tears in my eyes from the most awful nightmare of my life thus far, I thanked god that I was in paradise at least.

If thats confusing to you, just think of what it felt like to be me in that moment.

...........
...

She's Got Teeth

His face was bored as he looked at me, my hands on my thighs as I knelt at the foot of the bed, anticipating his response to my spill of information.

It didn't look as if I was in for a romantic love making session, but I was hungry for whatever he had for me.

I may be a girl, but I have some mean teeth on me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I could tell that he hadn't had a good day so I slapped him. Little did I know that he would in return slam me against the bed and underneath him, his hand reaching under my skirt and ripping the crotch right out of my panties before plunging his finger roughly inside of me. No ceremony allowed.

Sickly enough, its what we both needed and it didn't end there.

I had originally decided to slap him as a love tap but it came out a little too passionate and provoked his more tiger-like perceptions.

He kissed me a little too hard as he held me against with a little too much strength, his mouth like an attacking enemy. I swooned, the sound coming from my near-panic stricken head space. When I tried to wriggle away a little bit he put his fingers in my mouth, holding my lower jaw down as he kissed and licked all down my face and neck, fully securing his hold over me.

After just moments of my restrictive captivity, I was in a tumult of amorous need, my blood pumping and my mind a whirlwind of thought that I couldn't control. I began to kiss him back, I was his Stolkholm Syndrome maladied prisoner, my passion was feverish.

He ripped at my loose tee, tearing it down from the neck down over my tummy, the fabric laying half open like a skin. His reckless disrobing of my body revealed my breasts, which he immediately began inspecting with both his hands and his mouth, his teeth biting harshly at my nipples.

Between my legs a slickness had accumulated, slithering down my bits to my bottom when it tickled and agonized my seemingly passion-starved body. I shook all over underneath him, his hands roaming without a plan but with a definite purpose: to conquer. His hand slipped down between my legs again and as he investigated my slick center, he looked me dead in th eye, stealing any dignity from my mind, making me surrender whatever shyness still exists between us.

I whimpered and wiggled and felt like it was worlds of time before he slid his thick finger inside of me, my insides gripping him tightly as it entered me. I shook my head from side to side rhythmically slowly against the bed, trying to immerse myself in the feeling. As he teased me digitally I could hear the wet sounds created by my wetness which only antagonized my need. My clit was a hard pebble underneath his thumb as he rubbed it side to side, illiciting little high-pitched moans from my throat.

When at last that game had ceased to provide him entertainment, he lowered himself quickly beneath me, holding me against him with his hands on my waist. I lifted my head to watch his, busy between my legs, his eyes closed and his expression that of complete enjoyment. I watched with voyeuristic pleasure, enjoying both senses of touch and sight as he pleasured me. He stopped only once to utter a statement of compliment,

"Baby, you taste so good."

I heard no further utterances because before too long he had worked me to a crashing climax and pinioned me beneath him to take his pleasure of me. I moaned hard as he used all of his prowess to pant and huff sensation out of me, my body heating up to an incredible temperature. I straightened out my legs on both sides oh him in a split which he took to his advantage, forcing his full length inside of me, my mouth opening in a silent O.

I was overcome by a moment of invention and as I bit down hard on his bottom lip while kissing him in his fevered labors, I knew his climax was just moments away.

----------------------------------------------------

After, I lay ruminating over my emotions. Had the violence and domination hurt me in any way? Was I a crying pile of sadness in corner somewhere? The answer is no.

The reason being that there can be love in the conquer and domination of a female. There can be passion and eloquence and also safety.

Never once did I fear for my body or spirit, and thats the way it should be.

...........
...

Oh and btw, the blog has hit just over 200,000 daily renewable hits......yay! (This is me dancing in my socks and panties for joy in my bedroom) A daily renewable hit count is one one where the counter only updates when the daily visitor count has gone over the already recorded maximum daily hit rate so far. So, I guess people love reading the exploits of a perverted college student after all. :)

My New York Indiscretion: The Conclusion

This is the concluding chapter of a three part memoir. To catch up on whats transpired so far, here are the links: Part One & Part Two

The chill from the outdoors somehow permeates my skin as my mind races, his hands all over me, his lips against my skin.

I've found forbidden passion and though a million consequences lie ahead of me, I'm resolved to sin.

Pearls again; and this time with some double-time style.
-----------------------------------------------------

Aaden's fingertips are rough on my thighs as he rubs them up and down my legs, his mouth working on that secret explosion of ecstasy. I give in completely when his wet, warm tongue snakes in between the valley between my thigh and my kitten. I slip my hands around me on the silky counterpane like I'm making snow angels, my mind gently falling in rhythm to the physical pleasure overwhelming me.

I feel a small wave of my orgasmic energy come upon me and I shudder softly, my eyes slamming shut and my neck stretching seemingly of its own will. My body tenses as I begin to pant, my breathing becoming erratic, heat in every expulsion.

I whimper loudly as if showing my white flag of defeat, and my whole countenance is disturbed when Aaden's head pops up, his eyes meeting mine.

At my look of severe shock and disappointment, he chimes in softly,

"I have other ways, much better ways. Just hold on." He smiles devilishly as he climbs on the bed next to me, my face showing my displeasure.

He grabs my hand, squashing it to the counterpane, his mouth hot and desirous as I whimper under him for release. His arms are all strength and heft when he repositions me on the bed on my side, my back to him. I turn my shoulders and face to look at him and when he impales me slowly from behind, I hold on to my composure, staring into his eyes defiantly and sighing heavily.

He rocks into a rhythm and all the while he holds onto my shoulder with one hand and my hip against him with the other. I'll have bruises for a week in both places, but for now its bliss as I feel him completely overpowering me.

I lose myself in the ecstasy and the rush of it, him pounding into me all the while. He whispers in my ear throatily,

"I knew I had to have you, and here we are. Are you my little prize? My conquest?"

I moan audibly and I'm captivated.

I shout out, "Yes. Yes. Yes."

Im at the peak of delirium from not having been let to come and I'm angry with it bottled inside of me. It's a god-send when the hand holding my hip close to him comes around, his fingers stroking me in motion with his rhythm. My hands grip at the counterpane as I whimper uncontrollably, spouting nonsense, colors raging neon in my brain.

Its like a white hot snake finally when I come, its force exhausting me to the point that I don't realize that he's already come and is cradling me against his chest. His voice is soft as he speaks but its lost on me, I'm gone and all I can think of is that whatever bullshit I may face due to this little indiscretion; Its worth it completely.

---------------------------------------------------

The next morning when I wake up he has coffee in the pot and is lying in box shorts next to me with a cup of it, and offering me a sip he smiles like a bandit whose just scored his loot.

I'm tired down to my soul and angry that the sun had to come out to play today.

The drive back to my hotel is quiet but sweet, as he holds my hand, commenting every now and then. I'm just sort of out of myself and wanting to get back to my friends, to have some breakfast and enjoy the rest of the trip. I hold no attachment and even feel a soft sort of repulsion, like I have to just say goodbye and have done with it.

He lingers on the sidewalk with me and kisses me softly on the lips and then once on the forehead until I break hands with him and walk into the hotel without looking back. It's not like I'm not into him, but to be truthful, I'm just done with him.

He was sweet but now his time was through with.

...................
...