Michael Jackson: I Blame Your Tunes

I blame my overly active sexuality squarely on the shoulders of Michael Jackson and his music.

No disrespect to him and his memory but if you know his music like I do, then you'll understand.

Image courtesy of Amazon.com

When Michael Jackson's album "Dangerous" came out in 1991 I was 3 years old and I grew up listening to his older music too but particularly the music from that album. For my fifth birthday I asked for a tape (yes, a tape) of the album and everyday thereafter I spent my time lying on the floor, painstakingly listening to songs and rewinding to spots I remembered by heart to hear my favorite songs.

Since the same age of 5, I was a singer and dancer in a few local performance groups in my area so I spent much of my time, singing, dancing, rehearsing, and performing so it was natural that at the time I too wanted to be a big star. Fomr age 5 til 9 when people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my response was always "I;m going to be Michael Jackson; a statement that makes no sense now but to my young self, it meant a lot.

I used his music to enhance my performance skills, memorizing lyrics and melody cues until I knew each song so well I began to form dance routines where I would express the sometimes heavy emotion expressed by Michael's voice.

My dance moves were not the cutesy moves of a little girl but the sex-filled motions of a full grown, sexual human. My mom would always remark when she saw me rehearsing,

"Make sure you don't touch yourself between the legs when you dance, it isn't ladylike."

I would always roll my eyes and explain to her that if the King of Pop did it and people loved it, they would love it when I did it too.

All during this time, I had no idea what sex was, had no idea people would lay naked together or even what a vagina was actually for. I had an idea that Michael's songs embodied a sense of artistic feeling along with the melody and though I never understood what "...and you know damn well she gives it to me." actually meant or that "...remember the times after dark." really meant something sexual was going on versus just doing something at night, I loved the music for how it willed my body to move and how engrossed in the rhythm it could make me.

Sadly as I wandered into my teen years and Michael Jackson was replaced by pop boy bands and pop princesses and those were replaced by scream-o rockers and punk drummers, I lost the feeling of the pure delight I used to feel when I listened to his music.

It wasn't until a few years ago that my now de-flowered self downloaded his "Dangerous" album on a whim one day that I realized how dirty it actually was and how much I still worshiped it. I;m blushing even now thinking of all the nookie that has taken place in my bed that has been fueled by Mr' Jackson's amazing bass lines and erotic lyrics.

In life and lust, no more wicked words have been spoken (or sung, rather) than,

It's just a feeling
You have to soothe it
You can't neglect it
You can't abuse it
It's just desire
You cannot waste it
And if you want it
Then won't you taste it?

His music will live on for longer than we even know but more than that, his sensual powers of song definitely awakened something in me far before it should have and I'm sure its made me the girl I am today. Good or bad? You tell me...