Monday, April 28, 2008

Sugasm #129

Outdoor spanking courtesy of Well Spanked Man.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #130? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

April Showers Bring May Flowers: Part II“As mentioned earlier, this is one of the biggest hurdles to overcome; this is also where mind over matter comes into play.”

Au revoir
“In the life of an eclectic slut, however, these are all warning signs.”

Ode to Anal: Why?
“Really, for me, it was the first, and one of my foremost, all encompassing sexual acts.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Soviet Erotica

Editor’s Choice
Catalina loves Real Women

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

A Damaged Girl
Decoding More Dominant Personal Ads
Half-Nekkid on Sunday Morning
“You’ve Gotta Be a Dude”: Sorry?

Sex Advice
7 Tips for Swallowing Semen
The E-Spot: No Picnic

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Black and White
Dreaming of Sleep

Glitter Is The Herpes Of Craft Supplies

Guest Posting - Franka
Last Night’s Swinger Party
Missed Moments
Rules Of Play
Sucking the cowboy
V and the Red Shoes

Sex Work
Crossdressing Session 1
Of Working Girls, Working Together & Weekends Away

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Camila | Table top (Hegre Art)
Its Spring!
Luba - sagittarius
Paradise Hotel 2 hottie Stephanie in sexy bikini pics
Playboy College Girls - Rebecca Matheson
Spanked HNT!

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews

Cult of Gracie Radio
DC Madam Found Guilty On Four Counts
Drive-thru Strip Club
Impertinent Question: Would You Participate in an Orgy?
Interview with Donna George Storey on erotica and Sally Rand
Just Released on DVD: Tara & Code Vol. 3!
Millian Blue HotMovies Interview
Now I Am Three
Post-Show Gossip
Safer Sex t-shirt design contest!
Too hot for Dallas!

BDSM & Fetish
Brought to Tears
Evil playground
Fantasy (Part 1)
My Dominant Submissive
On the bottom (part 2)
One of My Fave Ways to Cocktease…
Other World Kingdom visit - Part 1
Standing orgasm
The sum of her parts
Torture Consultant
Writers’s Conference


Thursday, April 24, 2008

Am I or Aren't I?

If you sob when the man you've been involved with seriously for nearly two years is in the process of making love to you, could it mean that you're going through a sexual crisis?

Well if the answer is yes, then I'm in serious trouble.

A few weeks back, Gadget and I were near splitting but in the end it sort of resolved itself, if not for the sake of the relationship, then for the sake of both of our mental states. Were both going through big changes and overthrows in our lives and perhaps we just wanted to edit the drama down for the meantime. Sound depressing? It is, but mostly confusing.

Mirror Image: Two lips kissing of the same persuasion

I'm having some mixed up feelings and thoughts pour through my mind that are confusing, tantalizing, frightening, hot, dangerous, anti-normal and just plain naughty; I cant stop thinking about girls.

Day and night, in my sleep, as I work, as I paint (naked girls), when I'm reading, its just overwhelming. Now my issue is not the fact that I'm fantasizing about girls, I've been with girls even longer than I have with men during the evolution of my sexual life but its the fact that I haven't really been fantasizing about men. Usually its a fifty/fifty thing, but lately its around eighty/twenty.

I identify with the gay community, all of my friends are gay men and I feel comfort knowing that I have huge gay tendencies. So wheres the problem? I'm afraid that if I "come out" and one day go back to a man, or randomly hook-up with one as I often do (but haven't done since Aaden) that I'll be seen as a hypocrite, which is personally one of the most horrible things to be.

So why not just stay labeled as "Bi"? I don't know, but somehow it doest seem honest, somehow it doesn't speak for the reality thats raging in my mind. I know that I will be with another man again (hell, I am still with a man) but it seems a discourtesy to whatever girl I'm with to be Bi, like I'm not putting in as much as she is.

My fantasies have ranged from just those of sexual satisfaction to a relationship, the latter having not been something I've ever thought of. I have thoughts of kissing this mystery chick and holding her, cuddling with her and going out, being a real couple. Its a little bit scary because it threatens everything I thought my life would be once I "grow up".

Though I'm a bit of an anti-establishment shit, I still have the mind set that once I'm older, I'll get married 9to a man), have children, work and be an upstanding American. It sounds ridiculous but Its just how my mom raised me to think, and though I don't think it will actually happen like that, it still is always there lurking in my subconscious.

I've realized how easy it is to just be a young, straight girl living in the U.S.. I've taken it for granted really.

It's so easy to just let everyone think you're "normal". They ask you how your boyfriend is, how school is, how your friends are and everything is just fine; imagine what it would be like if my mother's elderly friends were to ask me how my boyfriend is and I have to say,

"Well, she's not exactly a "boy"friend."

I admit its a horrible way of thinking, especially since I recognize my mostly homosexuality and I see what goes on in the lives of my outed friends. I need a burst of courage maybe or perhaps to be slapped to a realization.

Its funny isn't it? The neighborhood slut is thinking that perhaps she's gay?

Its isn't really all that though maybe, maybe I just need to get my sex on with a girl again, god knows its been a while. Maybe I'm just taking out my relationship problems in this way.

Maybe this whole thing is just hormonal and will die down soon, but for now I'm going through one heavy duty mind fuck and need some clarity.


Monday, April 21, 2008

Sugasm #128

Sub lyn courtesy of Long-Distance Sub.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #129? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Fellatrices: C-u-n-n-i-l-i-n-g-u-s

“Yep, sounds like the boyfriend needs a lesson,” she affirmed. “You just need to show him where to lick.”

In Plain Sight

“She was laughing flirtatiously and he had a look of a cat that’s about to get the cream.”


“The act of suspension removed me from my ego and placed me at the still point.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself (one from the vaults)

Ten Things to Thank Porn For

Editor’s Choice

Half-Nekkid Thursday: My Hustler Debut

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

BDSM & Fetish

Bath time…
The Edge
Fetish Friday - Shoes
Figging and Coat Hanger Spanking
Half-Nekkid in Tighty Whities
“HIS Good Girl!”
Phone sex and the belt
Sexual narratives
Sugarbutch Star: Shannon

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews

Dirty Girls: an interview with Rachel Kramer Bussel
Essen Fetish Evolution Weekend 2008
Jenna’s Velvet G-Spot Vibrator Review
Top Ten Sex Toys To Laugh At

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

Blonde MILF gets stuffed in ass in Gangbang
Carla Bruni Nude Pictures Worth $91000
Jana Jordan & Lena Nicole
Lady Dalbin at the Crazy Horse in Paris
Pornsaint Jasmine Tame
Sapphic Erotica
Video Blue Line Cinema

Erotic Writing and Experiences

The Allure
B is for Bukkake
Captivating the college girl-Part III
Getting In Touch With Myself
Giving Out Candy
In Dreams There Are No Limits Part II
Miss Take Charge
Night terrors.
A Party Primer
Pushing The Right Buttons
Speedos removed - orgy with the boys
The Steam Room - An Erotic Tale
Surreality in Dreams
An Unavoidable Mistake
Verbal Domination, Verbal Cruelty (part 2)
The Waitress

Sex Work

The Taboo Fantasy Of Max Mosley

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Bed Tango
Has Gay lost its magic charm?
Just Like Porn! …but not.
Nazi Fantasies
New Jersey Fish Mouth
Not just another pretty face.
On (some) Radical Feminist approaches to studying
Sexual Assault; My Story.
The YouTube Divorce? Oh, No, You Did Not


Thursday, April 17, 2008

A Damaged Girl

This week, I came upon a moving entry from one of my favorite bloggers who I recently found, CCG at Confessions of a College Callgirl.

She spoke about a subject in her post entitled "Sick and Sad" which is close enough to my heart to have nearly ripped it from my chest.

The above is a piece of my original photo-art, entitled, of all things, "Damaged Girl".

She, like I, was wounded at a young age with abuse and has all of her life lent upon the unsteady flow of attention from men to keep her bruised ego floating on the surface of her problems. She wrote the most touching blog entry which got me thinking in a far more personal way (as if my sexual life weren't personal enough) than I usually do for this blog. She, in many ways, is my mirror image.

Even with all of the joy in my life and even though I know I'm living the life I was meant to, it still mangles my heart when I think of all of the sorrow I've endured on the way to my life now. My life is beautiful most of the time, but there's still pain.

I have been the first to admit that Im a severely wounded person. Physically, emotionally, chemically, sexually and all other ways possible. Its been a hard road to the point of understanding that not everything in life is supposed to be like the beautiful films they make in Hollywood.

My mother told me that in life you can be and do anything you want to in life and that happiness is everywhere you look; the next day I was raped, and all this at only age thirteen.

I feel like I have to put up colored screens in front of my emotions, just so people will like me. I'm the sunny girl that everyone knows who would do just about anything for a friend. I bake cookies and cakes and sing and dance and act and paint. I smile and giggle and walk with a bounce that makes my ponytail sway and sometimes I want to hurl myself off of the 17th Street Causeway Bridge and drown.

The charade can only go on for so long before it begins to break.

Its hard to be so honest and dark when every waking hour is spent trying to convince yourself that everything is ok.

I've tried to keep this blog light and sexy and carefree because thats what people want to read...right?

I'm and intelligent, loving, pretty, education oriented young woman and God help me when my mind starts to stray to the sadder parts of my memory banks. I've spent so much time and energy doing things that increase my self-formed conception of my eality and it hurts so much to know that most of my self esteem has been rested in the palms of the countless strangers I've allowed to sully the sanctity of my body.

A glance from a man I'll never see again has meant more than any platitude given to me by a best friend. Its such an awful circle. I don't give compliments easily because somewhere I have the sick misconception that somehow it will deplete my stores of the ego bolstering compliments I myself have received.

Think of all the moments I'll never get back because of my insecurity about my body, my perception of my levels of popularity and desire. My thoughts mirror those of CCG's so closely that it aches far too much to even go back over what she's posted so I can relate my own side on all of it.

All of my relationships have been made in an effort to kindle the never-ending longing for love and companionship Ill never truly feel because deep down I loathe all men because I've seen their most brutal and disturbing side in the faces of nameless criminals who have defiled and bruised me. How could I love someone who resembles my biggest nemesis?

I seduce all of my male friends to give them just a taste that will keep them at my side like weeping puppies, jut for the satisfaction it gives me. The most fearful part of this detail is that its become a sad addiction of sorts, completely beyond my control, like a subconscious neural reflex. I hurt them first so they don't have the chance to hurt me back, and so continues the vicious circle of insane reciprocity.

I hope that somehow and in some way that eventually I'll find a way to cull these pains, but until then I wander ceaselessly like a love-starved infant. How can I start to build my own identity outside of the unfulfilling momentary acceptance I get from countless, meaningless exchanges?

With each glance and with each fumbled tryst I lose more and more of myself, where will it end, if ever?


Thursday, April 10, 2008

Just Like Porn! ...but not.

I feel like a dirty slut when I think about those internet porn surfers who find my blog while searching for more explicit material, sometimes making it a happy accident, but the issue is this; this isn't really porn (and PS, the dirty slut thing isn't the problem).


Outside my favorite seedy neighborhood adult store.

I do indeed agree that it is "pornographic in nature", but this is only because the English language has this usage as the most easily understandable considering my site's subject matter. I wish I could just say that its "erotic writing and memoirs, photographs", but of course the grand mentality of the human populace would just say "So its porn."

Ahhh! It's very complicated.

My overall goal is not to be "Billy Bob's" midnight jack-off (but don't feel bad if it is) but to be an honest, open and well-written source for people to be able to find quality erotic prose about real events in a girl's life. I love the added photos that I take because it adds visual interest (lets face it, the internet is a [mostly] visual interface), sets a mood and lets me do my exhibitionist thing while also letting me be artistic with a hobby of mine.

I love to hear from readers about whatever really, compliments, critiques, relation, life story. I like feeling that other people enjoy and understand what I write, that they see my view point. I'm not trying to be over the top, or more than I am.

If I wanted to do that I would have stayed in Hollywood and gotten into being a porn star.

Every emotion and experience needs an outlet, this is mine, even if it is intensely public and extremely personal. I enjoy it. Popularity isn't a huge thing with me, but I like that I have been able to reach a large number of people.

In my everyday life I'm a very constant, responsible individual who is mostly interested in furthering her own intelligence and life experience. I've gone through a lot and mostly thats due to my own doing, to launching myself out there into the big bad world and into the arms of many people. This doesn't and has never diminished my self worth.

Here's something I want to know however: do most people distinguish the subtle differences? Can they? Whats in your cranium regarding this matter?

Am I just a lusty chick who can't tell the difference between severe perversion and a bit of erotic writing and journaling?

I'm living a life that I know is a good and exciting and enthralling one while not truly meaning to be well.....por-ny. Lucky you that I write it all up for you, right? :)


Monday, April 07, 2008

Sugasm #126

Vanessa courtesy of Badgirl’s Hotbox.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #127? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Up Your Bum

“Now, every mainstream porn film seems to include anal sex as part of the sequence”

A Moment Captured

“Right now I am looking out down at the street from my window and my fingers have found their way to my soft wet labia.”

Things Every Man Should Own/Know/Hear

“You can also give the controller to her, or use it yourself, and play with the power of the vibrations.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself (one from the vaults)

The New York Times’ Best Porn Articles

Editor’s Choice

Feminist Carnival of Sexual Freedom and Autonomy #1

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

BDSM & Fetish

Coming Over

Counting the days

How Much Pain Can You Take?

Kinkfest 2008 Report

Need - Part II.

Piss off

Pride Cometh

The Punishment List - F/m Spanking Video

Spanking and wanking

Subordinate, me

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Fear of Rejection

Let’s talk about being bi

Sally Kern Does NOT Speak For Me (Redux)

When it all went horribly wrong…

Why I Enjoy Public Sex

Why Marriage?

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

Blonde MILF is pounded hard in Gangbang

Grenian | Cikita

Pornsaint Nico Elise

Sexy Brunette Domino

Vanessa - Flower Power

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews

April Is Orgasm Month!

Catalina loves The Bondage Awards

Chanta Rose Dominates Mz. Berlin And Sabrina Fox On Chanta’s Bitches

eXcessica! (Calling All Writers…)

Fetish Model Wenona In Predicament and Suffocation Bondage on Water Bondage

Kicking Consent at Podophila

Some Positive News for Camgirls

Spray-On Condom in a Can

Weighting for a Great CBT Toy

Sex Work

The Dirty Nasty Truth

One Week Later…

The Porn Dilemma - Sometimes Forums Make Me Mad

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Captivating the college girl part two


Filling her up with my fingers

Garden Variety


My New York Indiscretion: The Conclusion

Twisted Tongue Dreams and Tongue Twister Scenes