Thursday, March 27, 2008

My New York Indiscretion: The Conclusion

This is the concluding chapter of a three part memoir. To catch up on whats transpired so far, here are the links: Part One & Part Two

The chill from the outdoors somehow permeates my skin as my mind races, his hands all over me, his lips against my skin.

I've found forbidden passion and though a million consequences lie ahead of me, I'm resolved to sin.

Pearls again; and this time with some double-time style.

Aaden's fingertips are rough on my thighs as he rubs them up and down my legs, his mouth working on that secret explosion of ecstasy. I give in completely when his wet, warm tongue snakes in between the valley between my thigh and my kitten. I slip my hands around me on the silky counterpane like I'm making snow angels, my mind gently falling in rhythm to the physical pleasure overwhelming me.

I feel a small wave of my orgasmic energy come upon me and I shudder softly, my eyes slamming shut and my neck stretching seemingly of its own will. My body tenses as I begin to pant, my breathing becoming erratic, heat in every expulsion.

I whimper loudly as if showing my white flag of defeat, and my whole countenance is disturbed when Aaden's head pops up, his eyes meeting mine.

At my look of severe shock and disappointment, he chimes in softly,

"I have other ways, much better ways. Just hold on." He smiles devilishly as he climbs on the bed next to me, my face showing my displeasure.

He grabs my hand, squashing it to the counterpane, his mouth hot and desirous as I whimper under him for release. His arms are all strength and heft when he repositions me on the bed on my side, my back to him. I turn my shoulders and face to look at him and when he impales me slowly from behind, I hold on to my composure, staring into his eyes defiantly and sighing heavily.

He rocks into a rhythm and all the while he holds onto my shoulder with one hand and my hip against him with the other. I'll have bruises for a week in both places, but for now its bliss as I feel him completely overpowering me.

I lose myself in the ecstasy and the rush of it, him pounding into me all the while. He whispers in my ear throatily,

"I knew I had to have you, and here we are. Are you my little prize? My conquest?"

I moan audibly and I'm captivated.

I shout out, "Yes. Yes. Yes."

Im at the peak of delirium from not having been let to come and I'm angry with it bottled inside of me. It's a god-send when the hand holding my hip close to him comes around, his fingers stroking me in motion with his rhythm. My hands grip at the counterpane as I whimper uncontrollably, spouting nonsense, colors raging neon in my brain.

Its like a white hot snake finally when I come, its force exhausting me to the point that I don't realize that he's already come and is cradling me against his chest. His voice is soft as he speaks but its lost on me, I'm gone and all I can think of is that whatever bullshit I may face due to this little indiscretion; Its worth it completely.


The next morning when I wake up he has coffee in the pot and is lying in box shorts next to me with a cup of it, and offering me a sip he smiles like a bandit whose just scored his loot.

I'm tired down to my soul and angry that the sun had to come out to play today.

The drive back to my hotel is quiet but sweet, as he holds my hand, commenting every now and then. I'm just sort of out of myself and wanting to get back to my friends, to have some breakfast and enjoy the rest of the trip. I hold no attachment and even feel a soft sort of repulsion, like I have to just say goodbye and have done with it.

He lingers on the sidewalk with me and kisses me softly on the lips and then once on the forehead until I break hands with him and walk into the hotel without looking back. It's not like I'm not into him, but to be truthful, I'm just done with him.

He was sweet but now his time was through with.


Thursday, March 13, 2008

Good-Bye, Gadget (?)

Just shy of two years, it looks like its the end of my relationship with Gadget.

It's all come down to this because of myriad of reasons and honestly, it shouldn't have drug on this long with so many problems going unresolved.

Gadget and I in bed in the good times.

I think it all came down to being annoyed, agitated, and belittled far too much and on a far too recurrent basis. Gadget is one of those people who have come from nearly abject poverty and have built themselves up from it into a productive member of society.

He follows the status quo far too closely and pushes and heaves at everyone to do to the same...even if they have not asked for such assistance. In a word, he believes that no one is ever good enough and should always be pushing at their individual glass-ceilings. That works for some people but thats just not me.

Gadget is going to be 27 this summer and maybe he feels as if he has not got much time left to prove himself a man in the world. As for myself, Im a 20 year old college student/writer/waitress who is just in the beginning of her wave of adulthood and just wants to have fun, have a few lazy days between her break-neck work days and try to find who she is.

He likes to push me and make me out to have more problems than I do; maybe it makes him feel better about himself if he has someone he can look down upon.

My best friend (a gay male) (I only drop the fact that he's gay to let you all know he's not after me and therefore not giving me bum advice to get me single again) has told me that perhaps Gadget feels inferior to me and therefore has to build himself up and belittle me, all at the same time to make himself feel worthy, and especially not below me, in status and mind power. I feel theres a grain of truth in this.

I have grown to hate the way he acts, the way he deals with problems and how he never feels enough is enough. I feel like he doesn't make enough time for me and when I encounter problems his only advice is to "just let it go". I wish it wasn't so though, because even for all his misgivings, he's a good man who I know only has everyone's best interests at heart but who needs to be much more empathetic, less judgmental and above all, more understanding of the flawed nature of man.

Update: 3 days later and I'm still waiting for the pain and the tears...where are they? Will they ever come? I suppose its just as well to leave something without childish emotion following me. Would it be better though?

Update: A week later: Is this the right thing? Is loneliness worth it? Should the negatives override all of the positives? I'm just so torn.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Sugasm #122

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #123? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Sex and love; anger and appeasement
“And in some way, the love I had for him will never be extinguished entirely.”

The Tetrised Luggage
“Our thighs are touching and I can feel him inch forward in his seat.”

You never know who we are
“People tend to have an idea of who can/does talk about sex.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself (one from the vaults)
The Media vs. Pornography

Editor’s Choice
Red Assed Mouthsoaping for His Lies

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Erotic Writing and Experiences
My New York Indiscretion: Part Two


Thursday, March 06, 2008

My New York Indiscretion: Part Two

To read part one, click here: My New York Indiscretion

So after battling with life for a while and also with the consequences of my actions in NYC, I decided to sit down and finish the story. One thing to note is this; I don't regret anything.

Now for part two of my New York tryst:

Going all out for my art.

The night around me was too quiet and the plan too fixed. I have a torrent of images, words, emotions flooding through me and I couldn’t settle on just one; my mind was out of touch. I could hear the soft buzz of the music coming from the speakers in the car and I could see a million little pin-points of light on either side of me and the dark murky stretch of the Hudson to my right. Aaden smiled down at me when I took a quick peek at him, his eyes impressive in the darkness.

I bite my nail, nearly breaking it in my nervousness. You would think that by now a reasonable person would have made the proper judgment call and would have decided to go back to their own bed alone.

The breaks squeak a little as he presses down on the break peddle, the car coming to a soft stop and a lump forming in my throat. I watch him as he comes around the front of the car, and hear the gentle click in the door as he opens it for me. His hand is strength on mine as I stand and he gathers me up, winter cold all around us and heat between our lips. He takes my hand and wrapping it around his arm, he leads me towards the red brick building looming ahead of us.

The elevator is a scary place because it offers a temporary seclusion which could lead to dangerous things. He eyes me like candy and my expression is that of availability. I let out a squeak as he slams me against the inside of the elevator, his calm veneer gone and his animal slowly leaking out. His mouth is strength and need against mine and when he kisses down my face to nuzzle my neck as he presses me hard against the wall, I moan out painfully in need, forgetting my moral dilemma. I bite down on my lip as he reaches between my legs, bringing my thigh up against him, pushing against me, forcing me to become painfully aware of my wetness.

The elevator dings, bringing us back to the knowledge that we aren’t in private…yet.

I admire New Yorkers their drive to live in such a manic city but I do not envy the seemingly overkill display of locks on their doors.

The locks click, click, click, my feet tired and my mind racing, my kitten starving.

At once I’m pulled into his apartment, distinguished male scents surrounding me. He helps me off with my coat, hanging it in a closet just inside the entryway. I gently walk the expanse of the living room over to the window, surveying a view that is supremely New York; the dead scraggly trees randomly dotting the sidewalk and the endless parade of car cutting through the city streets.

Warm, strong arms wrap around me and pull me back to my current need, Aaden’s lips gracing my neck as he talks softly to me,

“So did you imagine this is what your New Year’s Eve getaway would be like?”

I’m sly when I twist around in his arms to face him,

“It’s certainly different that I imagined, maybe better, maybe not. I suppose its all perspective.”

He smiles and kisses me, my not-so-romance-novel answer probably shocking him. His big hands settle on my hips and he nuzzles his face in my hair, his cheek next to mine,

“Though not the answer I was looking for, I can take that one and store it. I can do something to make it fun for now anyway.”

I stretch out my back like a cat as I reach my arms up and around his next, kissing him like my last breath was inside of him. He’s very old-world-Hollywood as he tangles his hands in my hair, holding my head as he kisses me, his other hand exploring my bottom with fervent interest.

I step back from him during a lull in a kiss and pull my shirt over my head, standing in jeans and my bra before him. I un-button my jeans as I take a few steps backward and sit daintily on the edge of the couch, sliding my high heels off and curling my feet underneath me.

He advances slowly, taking off his suit jacket and lying it over a chair, and then making quick work of the buttons of his shirt. As he comes within my reach I grab his belt buckle, sliding the belt out of it, hearing those series of clicks; my favorite sound. I pull the belt from around his waist and throw it down, sliding my fingers to the delightful bulge in his pants, smoothing my palm over him, feeling his hardness and glancing up at him at intervals.

I pull on his pants to bring him closer and start to undo his fly, his voice floods the room,

“Are you sure you don’t want to go first?”

His voice is slathered in desire and I can sense he’s teetering on the edge of his control,

“Oh yes.”

I pull down his pants just enough to find the object I’m searching for and begin by luxuriantly smoothing my hand around his shaft. He lets his head fall back slightly, calming himself and yet letting go. I bring my face close to his body, lying my cheek against his hip, my lips mere centimeters from him. I take in his smell, and the warmth of him, letting him work himself up.

I look up at him as I gently flick his head with the tip of my tongue, his face is filled with what I’d describe as delightful pain and urgency. In a mere moment I let the length of him slide into my mouth, moaning at the pleasure of it in sync with him. I wrap my right hand around the bottom of his shaft and gently sucking on him, I hold onto his hip. He’s in a world all his own, stealing peeks down at me, my eyes cutting his glance from below. I savor each moment, each sensation as my tongue and mouth explore him, his taste driving me on to want that final explosion.

His voice is not as steady as it had been moments before,

“If you don’t stop now I won’t have anything left for you.”

He pulls away gently and sits down next to me, gathering me up and bombarding me with his mouth to mine, his hand running from my neck to my breasts, down my stomach to caress my thigh, strength in every movement. I’m all sighs and undulation as he pulls me up from the couch and into the bedroom, his hand tight around my small wrist.

The bed is high and perfect for the little ideas that keep popping into my head. The height is just perfect for bending a bad little girl over it and spanking her roughly before sliding into her wet kitten just to show her whose boss.

I’m pulled from my thoughts by the view of him kneeling in front of me, peeling my jeans off with the aid of his mouth at the fly. His mouth is heat on my hip as he wraps his arms around my waist, and burrowing his face into my kitten, my thin panties can barely restrain his attentions.

I slide backwards onto the bed at his direction and his movements are smooth and practiced when he slides my panties down my hips and over my legs to lie on the floor. He presses the length of his body full against mine, wrapping my legs around him. I grind against him, his excitement alarmingly noticeable even through thick wool pants.

I moan quietly to myself as he grabs hold of my wrists and holds them down hard against the bed, his teeth at my neck. He bites gently there and applies kisses too. I squirm underneath him and feel my slick kitten against the rough wool of his pants.

I squirm some more.

He trails his hands down my body, pressing down on me, scratching almost and when he reaches my kitten he takes one finger and gently runs the tip of it from back to front, wetting his finger and eliciting a long moan from me. He holds my thighs hard against the bed, restraining me as he dips is face near my kitten, and nuzzling his lips against me, he gently licks at me, stroking the wetness between my lips. My hips buck without warning and when I feel his lips around my clit, I can't imagine holding out for much longer. Its sublime and devious.

I bite my finger and thank god that it's only just beginning.