Tuesday, March 23, 2010

e[lust] #10



HNT Courtesy of Babe Lincoln

Welcome to e[lust] - The 10th edition! Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #11? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Negotiation – Not Nearly As Awkward As Having a Breakdown in PublicAll the worries about getting to know a new person (“Am I dressed ok? Are they gonna like my stories about my grandma?”) get exaggerated when you’re talking about sex and desire…


Dollar Store DommeHe definitely can’t elude the dollops of toothpaste I dab onto his nipples. It takes a delicious second before he feels the cool burn penetrate his flesh. By that time I’m already up and selecting a plastic spatula from the credenza.

The Best of Both Worlds or Lost in Limbo?Whether intentional or unthinking, bisexual denial is a frustrating thing for bisexual, pansexual or ‘fluid’ people to have to deal with.


~ e[lust] Editress ~

Navigating Genderqueer in SuburbiaBut pray tell how do the rest of us navigate it? How the hell am I supposed to know if you identify as male or just like dressing like one?


~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

The Daddy Issue: Sexualizing AbuseI needed to walk through this fear, and turn it into pleasure. I needed to prove to myself that he hadn’t broken me. That he hadn’t changed who I was to become. That I was not affected by what he did. That he didn’t abuse me.


See also: Pleasurists #69 and #70 for all your sex toy review needs.


All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!



Erotic Writing

15 minute phone sex
…And Orgasms On Demand
A Neighbor In Need #7
Afternoon Delight!
Casino
Desperation & Dominance
Dreams
Evening Home, Part 3
First Asleep Loses
Happy ending
I Got….
I am a keeper of secrets
I Got Fucked
I am Coming for You: A Letter to Scin
Late Night Satisfaction
Lolita’s Mother
Making M Squirt
Sir ~ intro
The Hatter
The Flash Fiction Friday FAQ!
Trussed
We fucked, they applauded
Where there is a libido, there is a way
Wicked Wednesday: Idyll


Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

20 Reasons Why Sex Is Good
Defining Sex
Hurt me, Pet
I Was Raped
Playing Dumb
Red Flags of an Abusive Partner, Part 2
Restrictions and Satisfaction
Someone Else’s Shoes
Sex Isn’t Everything
The Art of Sensual Touching-Caressing for You and Your Partner
The STI You Haven’t Heard of: Molluscum contagiosum
The Suit
Vibrant Woman or Live Masturbation Sleeve
What I Don’t Need


Kink & Fetish

A Little Girl’s Need for Submission
Are You Done Yet?
A Reformatory Punishment
BDSM Advice Series: Floggers
Bruises
Determined to bind
His Slut
I Really Wasn’t In The Mood
Impact
Pain and Healing
Questions From DH About These Things We Do
Surrender
Sub Drop: Fact or Fiction?
Tiiu Ashcraft – Fetish Artist and Beauty
The Eroticism of Tattoos
The Competition
Wanting to want


Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

A History of Violence
Asshat of the Day Award
Awesome Mentoring Work and Upcoming Apprenticeship

Monday, March 22, 2010

Pleasurists #70



Explored! by Tascha Elliott

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.
Did you miss Pleasurists #69? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #71? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday March 21st at 11:59pm PDT.
Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.
Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?

e[lust] #9
Editor’s Pick
  • Crystal Delights Glass Plug by Britni TheVadgeWig
  • The plug is Pyrex, and they claim that it’s a Swarovski crystal in the base. I, of course, have no way of confirming that, but it’s pretty cool to think I could be walking around with a Swarovski crystal in my butt! WAY cooler than whatever those vajazzling shenanigans are, if you ask me.
    Editor’s Note: Not only am I in serious love with this product the quote above made me fall in serious love with this review, in addition to the fact that it is well-written and generally fantastic. Read! Enjoy! Get one of your own so you can have a “beautifully jeweled butthole!”
Editor

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
On to the reviews…
Vibrators
Dildos
Anal Toys
Toys for Cocks
Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.
BDSM/Fetish
Adult Books
Adult Movies & Porn
Lingerie
Sex Furniture
Miscellaneous

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The Monday Buzz: Evolved Fleur de Lis Pure Vibe

Every girl needs her go-to vibe for when she's feeling uncomplicated and randy, but that doesn't mean her vibe needs to be boring. Evolved and TabuToys.com bring us the Fleur de Lis Pure Vibe for just that reason; simplicity, quality and clean lines with power to back it all up.

Evolved Fleur de Lis Pure Vibe
-----------------------------------

This silky, pink vibe just needs two AA batteries to amp up your fun with more power than you can imagine and in such a cute and modern design. The vibe works through its three levels of vibration when you click just one silicone button at the bottom making it easy and fun. Since its waterproof, it can go in the bath, shower, pool, spa...just about anywhere with water for some splash-proof fun. At 7 inches long and 1.5 inches thick, it has a size that makes it substantial without being intimidating.

The Pure is made of hard, molded, non-toxic ABS plastic, yet the texture of its surface is silky smooth and warms quickly to your body's temperature. Evolved has put a huge emphasis on health and quality materials like silicone, ABS and other phthalate-free plastics which makes them one of my favorites in the industry.

Another cool feature of this product and others by Evolved is the aluminum box it comes in. Foam molded inside keeps your toy safe and in place while the little locking clamps on the top and bottom keep the lid on securely making it perfect for travel as well as storage. You gotta love the little extra that the storage box brings.

My favorite thing about this toy is that it definitely deceives you upon first glance as it looks like a standard vibe yet its velvety surface and strong vibrations make you a believer the moment you click it into action. Take it from me when I say that its quality, form and power make it anything but ordinary.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

They Take Away The Music

We all have that song that we identify with that person in our life, that song that captures a moment in time and every time you hear it, whether its been a minute or a month since you last saw that person for whom you pine, it will bring you straight back to those moments.


Photo via sfsu.com

When the men in my life have walked out or have been kicked out, they take these songs with them and even if I never want to envision their faces in my mind's eye, remember their hands on my curves or cry a tear I promised I would never shed again, these songs always bring all that right back to me.
------------------------------------------ 

Come Home Soon /Shedaisy
"I don't know what you're doin', And I don't know where you are, But I look up at that great big sky, And I hope you're wishin' on that same bright star. I wonder, I pray. And I sleep alone, I cry alone, And it's so hard livin' here on my own, So please, come home soon."

Far Away /Nickelback
"You know, That I love you, I have loved you all along, And I miss you, Been far away for far too long, I keep dreaming youll be with me and you'll never go, Stop breathing if I dont see you anymore. So far away."

Simple and Clean /Utada Hikaru
"Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight, It's hard to let it go. Hold me, Whatever lies beyond this morning, Is a little later on, Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all, Nothing's like before..."

Photograph /Nickelback
"Every memory of looking out the back door, I have the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor...Every memory of walking out the front door, I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for, It's hard to say it, time to say it, Goodbye, goodbye."

Wake Me Up When September Ends /Green Day
"Here comes the rain again, falling from the stars, drenched in my pain again, becoming who we are, as my memory rests, but never forgets what I lost, wake me up when September ends. Summer has come and passed, the innocent can never last..."

Chasing Cars /Snow Patrol
"Those three words, Are said too much, They're not enough.
If I lay here, If I just lay here, Would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

You Can Leave Your Hat On /Joe Cocker
"Baby take off your coat, Real slow, Take off your shoes, I'll take off your shoes, Baby take off your dress, Yes, yes, yes...You can leave your hat on."

Not An Addict /K's Choice
"I'm not an addict, maybe that's a lie. Free me, leave me, Watch me as I'm going down, Free me, see me, Look at me I'm falling and I'm falling. It is not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive if you don't have it, you're on the other side."

Lose Control /Evanescence
"Can we play the game your way? Can I really lose control? Just once in my life, I think it'd be nice just to lose control just once with all the pretty flowers in the dust...If I cut you down to a thing I can use, I fear there will be nothing good left of you."

Believe in Me /Lenny Kravitz
"Where's the love we had? When did it go bad? Or am I just insecure? I give all I can baby, I'm your man tell me what we're in this for, remind me."

Til Summer Comes Around /Keith Urban
"But I close my eyes and one more time we're spinning around and you're holding on tightly. The words came out, I kissed your mouth..."

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Pleasurists #69



Britni C by Deborah Kolb

Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.
Did you miss Pleasurists #68? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #70? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday March 21st at 11:59pm PDT.
Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.
Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?

e[lust] #9
Editor’s Pick
  • Tantus Hoss by Sammi
  • Hoss is enormous. Humongous. Gigantic. Bigger than big. He makes Randy look like a beginner’s toy (and Randy most definitely is not).
    Editor’s Note: This is a seriously impressive review because, among other things, Hoss is a seriously impressive toy. I thought it a fitting EP for an impressive edition both in number (69) and in review count (80).
Editor

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
On to the reviews…
Vibrators
Dildos
Anal Toys
Toys for Cocks
Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.
BDSM/Fetish
Adult Books
Adult Movies & Porn
Lingerie
Storage
Miscellaneous

Pleasurists adult product review round-up banner

Monday, March 15, 2010

The Monday Buzz: Intimate Accessories Anti-Bacterial Toy Cleaner

We all love a tumble in the sheets with our favorite toys but when it comes to clean-up, are we caring for our toys and our health in a manner befitting our passions? California Exotic paired up with The Berman Center to put out Intimate Accessories Anti-Bacterial Toy Cleaner; a handy and healthy spray cleaner to fit all your dirty toy needs with all the bacteria fighting ability girls-in-the-know expect.


Intimate Accessories Anti-Bacterial Toy Cleaner
------------------------------


The 6.28 ounce spray is most notably made up of Deionized Water, Hydroxide (the main cleansing agent in baby shampoo/washes), Tetrasodium EDTA (chelating agent that acts to soften water and other liquids), Propylene Glycol(used most commonly as a fragrance element, here used as a scent balancing additive), and the active ingredient Triclosan (anti-bacterial agent).

Triclosan works to kill all the bacteria on your toy while the other ingredients work to effectively wash debris clean to leave your toy spotless and sparkling clean for your pleasure the next time around.

I found that wetting my toy first with warm water, spraying on the cleaner and then sudsing up the cleaner over the toy's surface worked the best followed by finishing with a nice thorough rise afterward. The spray leaves a nice clean smell without being like perfume and the feel is like your toy is brand new.

The spray must be rinsed off after use for the most healthy results and can be used on any material though I wouldn't reccommend letting it stay on long if you're cleaning a jelly toy.

Though we all seem to take for granted the health concerns when it comes to our toys, its never too late to make new habits and include a great toy cleaner like this in your arsenal. All it takes is some planning a great rpoduct like this from tabutoys.com and in no time you'll be living clean.




Thursday, March 11, 2010

I Was Raped

After reading some of the first posts February from Britni at Oh My God, That Britni's Shameless, on how she broke down and told her mom about her rape experience that she had been hiding from her to save her the pain of it, I got the courage to finally write about and post my recollection of being raped when I was thirteen. I'm sparing no detail, so please be aware it may to hard to deal with for those who have also been victimized or are very sensitive to sexual violence.

WARNING: MEMOIR AND PHOTOS MAY BE TRIGGERING FOR THOSE WITH RAPE IN THEIR PAST
----------------------

Joshua was seventeen and rich and drove an Escalade his parents bought him when he landed a scholarship to M.I.T.. He always seemed to be everywhere and always with different people and he had this feeling of mystery to him that would make you cock your head after he waved to you. He had curly blond hair and always wore tank tops under open button-up shirts and I thought he was amazing.

We met at a New Year's Eve party at a local park that my best friend dragged me to. My best friend's boyfriend introduced me to him ("...most rapes are committed by someone the victim knows.") and when he actually seemed to want to talk to me, I was exhilarated. At this point in my life I never really cared about boys because I was very concentrated on school, my family, and my burgeoning depression; every doctor I saw about it wanted to chuck as many pills at me as possible. Suffice it to say that I was not at all in the mind set to set myself up with even more drama if it was at all possible to keep it low.

I saw guys and listened to my friends go on and on about them and even listened when my two best friends told me (when we were all eleven years old) all about how they lost their virginity to so-and-so and who they were planning to screw next now that their virginities were "out of their way".

I prayed for my friends and even would go lend an ear when they lay prostrate with grief on their beds listening to N'Sync and crying to me about how all men were assholes. We were twelve and we already had this sex-centered view of relationships and I tried so hard to stay away from it all.

As Joshua and I sat on the bleachers watching people drink and jump around and make out all around us, we just talked about music and school and colleges and when midnight struck we wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead saying,

"Happy New Year, beautiful."

It was the first time a guy had said that to me and I was sent flying.

I had my first kiss only two months previous in November when I was dared to kiss a senior at a friend's birthday party and afterward I thought I was in love. After he sent back a letter I had written him (my first and only love letter as a teen) with a note scrawled on the outside of the envelope that said "You're thirteen, you're in love with everybody. Leave me alone."

I was totally crushed and fervently resumed my campaign to remain aloof of guys and focus on my life. So when Joshua only kissed my forehead so sweetly that night, I was so touched I softened to him, not knowing how he actually was inside.

In the following weeks, Joshua and I constantly IMed, emailed can called each other. When I sent him a photo of my friend and I in our bathing suits during summer vacation he typed back,

You're so pretty, def more pretty than that girl.

I was flattered beyond reality when he told me that because I had always felt physically inferior to that particular friend who was super-sexed and wore tank tops with spaghetti straps and short-shorts whereas I wore polos and skirts or jeans almost everyday. Suffice to say, Joshua was very smooth and soon had me missing him and thinking about him in ways I hadn't with any other person.

Two weeks later, a neighbor had asked me to stay at her house overnight while she away on business so I could look after her aging dog. My parents let me go since it was only about eight houses down from our own and it wasn't a school night. I felt very mature and cool walking down the street with her house keys in my hand and my backpack slung over my shoulder.

Initially, I was jazzed to be able to hang out all alone and do whatever I wanted but by eleven I was bored and slightly spooked by the giant, empty house all around me.

I decided to call Joshua to see if he could cheer me up and when his voice came down the line I was instantly cured of my fright. We talked for about half an hour before I told him about the real reason I was calling so late and after I told him, he laughed,

"You're so cute, its only a dark house. Nothing to worry about. If you're really freaked out I could always drive over and keep you company."

Instantly, my stomach dropped as I knew this would not be a good idea. I realized I was spacing out when I heard him calling my name over the phone and snapped out of it,

"I don't know, that's not really respectful of my neighbor because she's gone and everything." He replied,

"Well ok, if you don't want to see me..." Immediately, I recanted,

"No of course I want to see you, I just didn't want to get in trouble. You could always come over and we can just hang out on the front porch."

As I hung up the phone, my sense of foreboding left me and was replaced my excitement; A boy is coming here! To see me!

When the doorbell rang half an hour later, I answered it with a smile and when I come outside Joshua gave me a huge hug before we settled on the top step of the landing. We talked for a while about everything we always did, music, our parents, school until something changed; he put his hand on mine. I blushed and thanked God it was mostly dark so he wouldn't see. When I turned my face away from him he questioned me,

"Are you ok?"

I nodded and looked back at him. He bumped my shoulder with his and when our eyes met again and he lent in to kiss me, I knew what I was supposed to do, so I closed my eyes let him kiss me. Soon enough the kissing became more fervent and when he tried to touch my breasts I pushed his hand away. Five minutes later he tried again and once I again I pushed it away. He sighed in frustration and pulled away from me,

"God, Petite, don't you like me?" I nodded "Well why won't you let me cop a feel then? Its just your boobs."

I sat back with my arms stretched out behind me,

"Well I don't let people touch them, even if they are just boobs." I spat back at him edgily.

 "Fine, Ok. Let's just kiss, I won't try it again."

This time his kisses were harder and actually started to hurt my lips and after trying several times to pull away from him, he had already backed me up against the farthest edge of the step. Then, even though he had promised not to (Gee, boys do that?), he tried snaking his hand up the front of my shirt to fondle me but this time when I tried to pull away, he didn't just relent, he pushed me down against the steps, his hand still venturing on,

"Ok Joshua, stop, this is stupid. You need to go home."

All I got was a "No" half shouted right in my face. I knew then that it wasn't funny anymore.

I struggled to get up as he ripped at my bra finally tearing one strap and pushing my shirt up over my breasts, leaving my right one exposed. Tears came to my eyes when I realized that this was not fun.

"Please Joshua, stop! Quit it!"

He bit my lip as he kissed me so hard that I could taste blood and my tears renewed themselves ten fold. All the time I shouted at him and smacked him, saying his name. It worked to no avail and as he glared at me through the partial darkness of the night, I shrank back in fear.

When he grabbed the hem of my ankle-length skirt and started to pull it up, I started shaking, helpless to do anything but crying and try not move to avoid him hitting me. I heard ripping and when he pulled down so hard on my panties that I cried out, he only seemed to become more turned on.

"Please Joshua, don't do this. I'm a virgin! You know this is wrong, please."

He ignored me and even when I kicked him in the stomach in my struggle to get away from him he never relented, one hand holding me down the whole time. When I heard the zing of zipper as he undid his fly, all I could do was sob and pray. I kicked and screamed for help and even though it was only 11:30 on a Saturday night and we were in idyllic suburbia, no one heard my cries, no one called out to help me.

No one knew a young girl was being brutalized not even 100 feet away.

When he slammed himself down in front of me between my legs I slapped at him when I got one hand free and started tearing at his face. I watched his dick swing in front of me as he grabbed the hand back and mashed it back under his own against the cement, the tears streamed down my face and I thought,  

So this is it. This is what is going to happen to me right now.

With all the kicking and struggling, he must have been really excited because by the time he had barely forced an inch of himself inside of me, he came, his body spasmed on top of me as sobs shook me. I finally stopped struggling and instead just laid there, still crying, still scared.

Eventually he got up, and zipping his pants as he walked the ten steps to his car and when he he spoke his voice was still somewhat breathless,

"Go take a shower or something and stop crying. Don't call or text me, ever."

I covered my face with my hands and curled up in a ball, my ripped clothes barely covering me in the half-light of the porch. The worst moment was when I laid down over the top step and when I felt the hot wetness of his semen slosh out of me I started hyperventilating and had to cover my own mouth with both hands to calm my breathing in between the sobs.

I laid for hours on those steps until my body was numb and my throat was so sore I couldn't cry anymore.

Photo courtesy of lovebitesandbruises at Flickr
------------------------------------------------

Finally I dragged myself inside, slamming and locking the door behind me. I trudged up the stairs, and to the bathroom where I locked the door, turned the hot water on and slowly started to undress. As I pulled off the remains of my skirt, I noticed the thin trickle of blood that was running down the inside of both of my legs, leading from big smudges of red all over the top of both thighs and all over my vaginal lips, leaving little spots of red on the perfectly white bathroom rug. I put my back against the wall and let myself slide down, grasping my skirt in my hands as I started to cry yet again. I had no tears left so my body only shook.

I stayed in the shower, my long hair over my face as I sat on the floor of the stall until the water began to run cold. After I got out and dressed in pajamas, I crept downstairs with my ripped clothes wrapped in a bundle with the rug around it. I ran to the neighbor's house through the bushes and gingerly opened their garbage can, moving aside a bag to hide the ripped, bloody evidence underneath.

Later as I laid in the big white bed, I felt nothing and thought nothing aside from "What do I say to my mom if I get pregnant even though I didn't do anything wrong, even though I didn't choose this?"

I only fell asleep after the morning light began to creep through the windows, my body finally succumbing to its exhaustion and pain.

As the weeks went by, I couldn't be in the room with my mom without having to look away from her. She and I are about as close as mother and daughter can be and my love for her is bigger than anything in my life so naturally, this was the most difficult time for me and it broke my heart. What would break my heart more than the silence and secret would have been  if I told her about what happened then she too would feel my pain, she would mourn for me and suffer for me and I didn't want to add to her already overloaded life.

I felt that just because I was hurting, didn't mean my mom had to hurt too and if she had anger, I couldn't deal with that most of all.

After the third week after the incident, I was looking in my planner trying to organize my project deadlines for school when I realized that my period was almost two weeks late.

Two weeks late.

I threw my planner across the room as if it would make a difference, as if it could alter time or space or matter. I couldn't even cry I was so out of it. My hand immediately went to my lower abdomen and I almost wretched at the thought of it.

Photo courtesy of lovebitesandbruises at Flickr 
--------------------------------------------

When my mother was seventeen, she was date-raped by a guy her friend set her up after he threw her in the back of his 70's panel van onto a bare mattress and slammed the doors behind them. A month later she found out she was pregnant and scheduled an a-b-o-r-t-i-o-n.

 On the day that the procedure was scheduled she woke up and realized she was miscarrying. On the day the procedure was scheduled, a huge portion of Los Angeles burned down and she held her own mother's hand as they watched the smoke plume over the city.

My grandmother went to her gave never knowing her daughter had been brutalized and lost a child so young and sometimes I wonder how my mother feels about that. Was she glad to shield my grandmother from having to live her pain? Was she regretful that she had to live it alone?

That night as I lay in bed for hours with my guts churning, tears burning into my cheeks as I thought of how life would be after having an abortion, or after having a baby who was the product of my rape and the theft of my virginity. Around 2 am, something strange happened; my door opened, light pouring in around the silhouette of my mother,

"Are you still awake honey? Are you ok?"

"Mom? Why are you awake? Why did you come in here?" I was totally shocked.

"Oh you know, sometimes I get a feeling and I have to get up and look in on you guys. I do this sometimes but you're always asleep. Its the mommy-magic thing, you know?"

I nodded and pulled the blankets up to my chin knowing that this was the time,

"Hey mom? I have to tell you something."

She stood in the doorway as I told her the short version of what happened. I was crying and half-hiding under my blankets, the light pouring in over me.

"...and now I don't know if I might be pregnant or not. I'm really scared."

Then my mom did something very uncharacteristic, she said,

"Well, we'll deal with it if it becomes an issue but you're ok right? You're not hurt?"

I nodded and then she said goodnight, closed the door and went back to her bedroom that she shared with my father.

This was a huge deal because my mother is the sort of touchy-feely mom who hugs and kisses you and gives you so much praise and affection you feel like you'll pop. It scared me like nothing else had that she didn't cry, she didn't come over to me but remained calm and aloof and just went back to bed. I knew she had to be angry with me.

The next morning I found out I had been wrong when I came down for breakfast before school. Her face was red and puffy and her eyes were bloodshot and swollen, she hadn't slept at all last night and had probably spent the better part of it crying her eyes out over me. I felt better and worse at the same time. On one hand, my mother wasn't angry and detached but on the other, my unexpected news broadcast had kept her up all night crying and worrying for me. I was even more conflicted.

As I walked to the bus stop I hiccuped back the tears in the brisk morning air, worried as I had never been in my life. My mind traveled to a world where I was thirteen and had a baby and my whole life came to an end, all because of the sick brutality of one boy and a momentary lapse of judgment of one girl.

I turned the corner at the end of my street and got my period; I had never been so happy to ruin a pair of white pants in my life.

------------------------

After nine years has passed, the pain has settled from my initial trauma and I can even say the word "rape" out loud without feeling the twinges of terror sparking down my back.

I had a friend who I told about this ask me a few weeks ago, "Well if you were raped when you were a young girl, why are you so sexual now? Why aren't you like asexual and repressed?"

My answer is that after what had happened to me (something that was out of my control and was not on my own terms) I decided that my sexual life would be in my own hands and be under my control. I took my over my desires and tried to rise above the pain and reclaim my body and my sexuality as my own.

I had been raised with a very conscious view of sex and its place in my life and knew it could be something wonderful, something passionate that I could enjoy and love and I wasn't going to let the sickness of one boy kill a whole part of my life and force me to become a victim in my every moment.

I felt then and feel now that when something in your life happens that's scarring that you need to give yourself time enough to grieve but then pull yourself up out of the miasma of mourning for your own destiny. If you get stuck in the past, your whole future will become stunted and sheltered and then the person who hurt you will  have won, will have taken the piece from you that they wanted. You can't let them win you can't be the victim they wanted you to become.

Pain is momentary and passion is fleeting but you only get one life to live and pain can't be the thing to rule it; Take it from a a girl who knows.

----------------------------------

If you or someone you know has been raped, molested or is a victim of domestic abuse, please follow this link to the resource directory at AfterSilence.org for support, help and information. You're not alone.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness

Today we take a moment to acknowledge the women and girls infected with HIV/AIDS in our country and also worldwide. At the end of 2008, 31.1 million adults and 2.1 million children were living with HIV/AIDS globally, that's 33.2 million infected individuals.

At the end of 2007, there were 15 million AIDS orphans left behind when both parents who were infected and had died, leaving them alone in the world.

Let's take a moment to absorb the effects of this virus on our world, on our women and our lives and pray for those affected by its existence in their lives.



Red Pump Widget


Data collected from Avert.org

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

e[lust] #9


HNT Courtesy of Margaret at They Belong to Us


Welcome to e[lust]
- your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #10? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed
for updates!
~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Start Without Me - It’s for when one of us is too tired, or not in the mood, or out of town, or the other of us is too horny to wait. But now, here, right in front of me, you’re touching yourself, playing yourself, and it is the fucking hottest thing I’ve ever seen.

Wicked Tongues - There are so many different ways that a mouth can connect themselves with my cunt. And so many partners, each with their own way of connecting with me.

"Vanilla" Bigotry - I effectively retired my personal usage of the word “vanilla” when one of these sick fucks told me that he hated that term. He said it was condescending, and the implication that kinky people have any idea what goes on in other people’s bedrooms just because they aren’t fucking around in a dungeon was ridiculous.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Audible - More hushed giggles, more kissing sounds. A gasp followed immediately by a quiet, restrained moan. I had to make up the images in my head, try to picture what caused that gasp, who’s mouth was on what body part. Or was it even a mouth?

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Swing Shift Volume 33- We're "Sexually Festive!" - What I do know is that I love Veronica now more than ever, that we choose our extra-marital partners with care and respect, and never fail to remember that our primary relationship is the most important one. If we’re considered sluts or promiscuous by others, so what?

See also: Pleasurists #66 and #67 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Babeland Store Dream
Spend an Evening with Madison Young and Help Support the Arts
Partner rape, cryptids, and other crazy myths

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Anal Sex for Beginners
Choosing the right partner in poly relationships
Controlling or Petty?
Dating and Fucking
In response to: Gang Bang Curiosity
Intoxicative Healing
Reflection
Status Uterus Orgasmus
Therapy - Two Years
The Lost Art of the Hand Job
Time and Punishment: Some dynamics of male chastity in marriage
We Don't Need No Education?
You Make My Tummy Funny

Kink & Fetish

Another Friday Story Time
BDSM -- Abuse and Consent
Creating Space in Kink
Discovered
Ferocity
I am in trouble
Method: Episode Two
Nightly Spanking
Orgasm Control
Sex And Sadness
The Hands of a Goddess
The Day...
Wake-up call
What About the Children

Erotic Writing

Art Wednesday
Are You Watching Me? (3rd and Final Part)
An Afternoon Delight
Back To My Old Tricks
Climax At Midnight #6
controlling the beast
Group Post: "The Day...."
Harmony
Local
No Sex: Need Sleep
Pack It Up...Pack It In
Performance
Solo Session with B
Slam
The Good Kind of Wake-up Call
That Kind Of Girl...Who Gets Off In A Crowded Bar
The Hammer
The Threesome
The Golden Goddess
The Stranger
The realest thing
Wicked Wednesday: Date Night

Monday, March 08, 2010

The Monday Buzz: The Pleasures of Glass

For all of us who are very selective about the materials used to make our favorite sexy toys, glass is one of the most mysterious for some to wrap their minds around.

Glass is an great conductor of temperature so you can warm up or cool down any intimate situation with ease. Its also the perfect material for those with allergies or a drive to make things extra safe and clean. Here to settle your glass needs are the CyberGlass Swirl Micro Mini Vibrator and the Don Wand Glass Pleasure Wand brought to us by our friends at tabutoys.com.

CyberGlass Swirl Micro Mini Vibrator
If you're looking for something stylish, discreet and original, look no further than Adam and Eve's CyberGlass Swirl Micro Mini Vibrator. Who knew glass and vibration could be combined into such a perfect little package?

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Packaged in a little vacu-plastic package, this five-function vibrator is just about an inch long, making it more of a bullet vibe for external use. This little gem also comes ready to go with batteries and a little velvet drawstrong bag for safe storage and optimum care. As far as looks go, it is cuter than cute; a pink glass swirl slithers up the length of the toy over a chrome shaft while clear glass covers the whole thing, leaving a smooth surface.

Its a Push-4-Play toy, with one button on the bottom that cycles through its five levels of vibration levels. I found the first and second functions perfect for warming up and teasing all my little bits while the third definitely starts to put you in the mood. The fourth and fifth were well enough to get me going big time with an orgasm that surprised as well as delighted.

The cool thing about this toy is though its small, the glass lends it a weight that most other bullet-size vibes don't usually have. Because of this, I could just set it on my lips and enjoy a mostly hands-free session of play.

It's mostly quiet though the highest setting does have a bit of noise going on. I found if you closed your legs on the vibe, it muffled the sound almost completely so, problem solved.

I can just imagine sticking this in my purse before heading out to meet a cute boy at a restaurant. I can see myself sitting beside him in the restaurant, the table cloth hiding our legs from the rest of the establishment. His lips warm against my neck as his hand wanders up my thigh and under my skirt, his fingertips slipping into my panties. 

In a moment of inventiveness, I pull my CyberGlass Micro Mini from my purse and slip it into his hand. He gets the message. I look around the restaurant as he click the vibe on, the sound not giving us away amidst the hustle of the dining room. 

I part my legs just a touch as he slides the little vibe under my skirt and goose bumps rise on my skin when the little cool tip of it finally touches against my clit. In moments the cool glass warms to my body temperature and I lose myself in the soft vibrations. He decides to bump up the vibes and I smirk at him playfully as he circles my clit with it, my eyelids fluttering as I savor our little secret.
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Don Wand Pink Glass Pleasure Wand

I love toys that have many different uses and the Don Wand Glass Pleasure Wand in pink delivers all the way. Ripples and curves combine with a slippery, smooth surface to make this toy a must-have for those who love style as well as function.

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Made of Pyrex, this sassy little pink wand has a curved end that finishes with a bump, for the prefect G-Spot stimulation. The other end has four bis bumps perfect for vaginal or anal play as it can even be washed in the dish washer or dipped in a 10% bleach solution to sanitize. 

The overall length of the toy is 8.5 inches with a girth of 1.5 inches at its widest point in the middle. I love the length of this toy as I've found that some G-Spot toys aren't long or adjustable enough to accommodate everyone's anatomy. It even comes with a padded velvet drawstring bag that keeps it safe from damage and bumps.

My favorite lube to use with this sweet little thing would be silicone-based because very little is needed to get it slippery enough to make it more fun than you can imagine. 

I found that a gentle rocking motion with the curved end against my G-Spot was so amazing and because the glass doesn't give to motion, you can control the strength of the sensation to the level you love the most. I found it didn't take a lot of pressure for me to really feel the slide of the bulb against that most sensitive spot and soon I was loving the angle of the toy.

The Pleasure Wand serves double duty, also serving as an anal toy with perfect curves as the opposite side is perfect for anal penetration as with each slide of it, the feeling of another bump almost sent me over the edge with sensation with the curved end served as the ultimate handle. If you're an expert with G-Spot and anal play or just starting out, this could be the prefect toy for you.




Thursday, March 04, 2010

Give Me My Sin Again

With each brush of your fingertips over my cooling skin, I feel a rapture within me. You trace over the curve of my hip left exposed by the white sheet and I close my eyes. There is harmony in living for this moment alone, this sensation itself.

Self Portrait: "Softly Sexed"

My body was heat and exquisite pain not moments ago but as I lie here, my body all undone, my mind all pinpoints of light and cool existence I feel untangled and uncomplicated and sexy in a sloppy, ignorant-of-myself way. Each smile feels like the first and best and seems to fill my whole heart. Each laugh seems to fill my lungs and vibrate over my vocal chords as it bubbles up dreamily into the atmosphere of this bed.

I'm all limbs and petal soft skin under the thin, warm sheet and there is no want or need in me but the girlish desire to languish in this non-reality forever and a day. Here you are mine and I am yours, not like in life where I am alone and you are married to some other woman.

My guilt is pushed far back and gone and I giggle as if I didn't have this crashing weight of sin on my shoulders. In this moment, God forgives me for trespassing upon the sacred chain he placed around you and another woman when you promised "...til death do us part."

I roll closer to you and I sigh, your hands sliding over your favorite parts as you look into my eyes. I close them again and when I hear your voice its like its the only one I've ever heard, I feel that I could listen forever but when you ask me a question, my answer is all I have in the world. My mind is open and expanded and my words come in falls of my beloved collegiate level vocabulary in an amused yet droll tone.

I let my own hands trail down my body and look over at you, your eyes on those hands on that body of mine and you close your mouth and I know you want to take me again because now its quiet; something has swept over our sweet moment and flipped it back to the carnal, back to my cross to bear.

As you pull me up against you and grab my hips as you take me again, my eyelids flutter, my hands grasp at the white linen and as a moan is ripped from my throat, I whisper to myself,

"O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again"

My hair hangs down in curtains as I imagine they protect from judgment as my body betrays my piety and yet again lets me down. I feel no pain, no regret, no morality in this moment when you become a part of me, when you take me, when you penetrate me, when you purge me, when you own me, when you...

I lay down again after the crashing wave takes you, and I look over at you and I wonder if you think of her as you fuck this young girl with pale, milky skin, long hair, rose bud lips, and eyes like a cat. I wonder if you apologize every time you slip yourself into another one of us, your passions ending up on our faces, our breasts, across our lips or deep inside of us.

I wonder if she knows or if she even cares that your fidelity means about as much as a penny someone drops but doesn't care enough about to spend the five seconds it would take to pick it up.

I wonder if this is her punishment; I wonder if it yours.

I wonder if its mine.

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Romeo: "Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged."

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