I think one of the biggest things I find funny about meeting people is that when they make my acquaintance, they always perceive me as being a very proper, very prissy, very prude like girl. If they only knew, right?
Angelic American beauty.
I know that its because I do have quite a proper facade in my work and in my daily life with most people, its easier to just be a good worker and to be have good relations versus being sensationalized and having too much attention for the wrong reason. Plus, I think it may be just a bit too fun to be the naughty girl beneath all of the pomp and elegance.
Good girls don't have fantasies about girl asses in public or want spankings so hard and vigorous that they leave bruises, do they?
I've gotten past the labels long ago but my feeling is that people will always accept what you give them at a first glance and run with it. Im fully aware that a book is worth much more than its cover, but in my daily life, its easier to just get away with being everyone's favorite sweet little friend. My facade is pretty good too.
A person has so many different facets and levels to their personalities that I don't believe that I'm trying to fool anyone or be dishonest, I'm simply being myself, but a little bit closely hinged. Who wants to have to confront the deepest levels of a person at first glance? Its easy for me to laugh and just be sweet instead of coming full out with my most passionate and sensual self.
That being said, though I am sweet and caring and full of love, I do have that bit of me that doesn't sit down to others' disrespect.
Kiss from a rose...
I live my life with a model of grace and feminine charm, no one would expect that I'm such a sexual person as I feel that the sensual aspects of someones personality can be mistaken for a certain wanton loose sexuality, especially when this is perceived of a woman. I don't wish to be seen as the city slut, but who could fault me for that?
Growing up, my southern Grandmother always used to tell me to keep my charms to myself lest I be found to be loose and undesirable to a respectable man some day. My Grandmother was born in 1915 and though her wisdom had a twist of deep nostalgia to it, it still rings true to some degree.
I would look around my school growing up at the girls who everyone talked about in hushed tones, the ones that "gave it up" and I was horrified that my fellow classmates would somehow figure out that I too was a closeted slut. My mind worked constantly on fantasies of sex, foreplay and sensuality and I prayed to God to either make me pure or to make it so all of this desire never made it out of my mind and become etched into my skin for all to see.
Luckily for me, I never was into the boys at school, so no rumors ever slipped around campus about me being lecherous and sexually deviant. I kept my nose in my books, kept up my Honor Student grades, went to occasional parties but always made sure to always show my more fun, cute reserved side lest I be recognized for what I truly was; a sensual girl.
I realize now that I really don't care what others think of me, but its ingrained in me to be this polite, giggly girl around everyone and to never let them suspect a dirty thing of me. I feel I live in a very interesting way, concealing my more personal side from all and it may even add a bit of fun to it. Like when you go to class in tight jeans and "forget" to wear panties. You have a secret that no else can see.
I have many secrets and in particular, I have the secret of a sensual, sexually deviant mind. I love myself and I love the way I have grown up to be. I may live some of the time in the musky shadows but I wouldn't change a thing.
Anyone want to be involved in a secret or two?